


One Last Time

by HarmonyinDark245



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Childhood Sweethearts, F/M, Heartbreak, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24503551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarmonyinDark245/pseuds/HarmonyinDark245
Summary: Elain and Azriel have known each other since they were 11 and had never been separated. But when their view for their future no longer matches, things break apart between them, causing a rift which had never been fixed.Seven years later, both of them live their lives as anyone normally could.Azriel is an extremely vital member of the infamous Knight gang, known for their brutality and wrong doings.Elain is a renowned neurologist famous for her research work, engaged to a huge businessman and has a child of her own.What will happen once their lives intertwine once again?Will old flames rekindle or will things ruin for the worst?Loosely based on Ariana Grande’s song ‘One Last Time’
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 28
Kudos: 71





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

**14 years ago.**

“Would you mind if we sat here?” A sweet voice said. Azriel looked up to find a short girl with big brown eyes and chestnut hair tied into two pigtails. Beside her was a boy with red hair, as tall as her. Both of them had a food tray in their hand. 

Opposite from him, Cassian and his girlfriend Nesta sat down. “You can sit here Elain. That’s Azriel. He doesn’t say much.”

Cassian smiled. “Yeah, Elain, he’s shy.” Az glared at Cassian, causing him to laugh. The girl, Elain, sat down on the seat beside him and the boy sat on her other side. 

She held out her hand, “Hi, I’m Elain Archeron, Nesta’s sister. I’m in sixth grade. You?” She smiled.

Azriel looked at her hand and then at her smile. He just said, “Azriel Knight. Also in sixth grade.” He turned towards the book on his table. He started sketching in it. 

“What are you drawing?” She peeked over his shoulder. He covered the sketch, but he had forgotten about his scars. 

He could feel Nesta and Cassian tensing from across the table. 

“Beautiful.” He heard her say softly. He raised his head and looked at her. She smiled softly at him and Azriel felt his cheeks flushing. He smiled back at her.

* * *

**13 years ago.**

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Elain! Happy birthday to you!” Everyone sang together. Elain was laughing loudly as she saw how Rhys and Cassian were dancing while they sang. 

Azriel had been standing behind them all, a bit shyly. Elain had become one of his very good friends. She always stood up for him whenever someone said anything to him and she always knew how to make him smile. 

He watched as everyone started crowding Elain, showering her with gifts. He felt a bit sad, being left behind. He looked down at the gift he had selected for her. 

Just then someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and saw a big eyed Elain, with a huge smile on her face. “You came!” She said in her sweet voice.

He smiled softly at her. “And I got you a gift.” He held it up to her. She smiled as she took it from him, unwrapping it. He looked at her unsteadily, hoping that she would like the gift he got for her.

As she saw what it was, she looked into his eyes, her own wide with bewilderment. She didn’t say anything, just held onto him tightly. 

“Thank you Az. It’s beautiful.” She whispered as she held the blue colored bunny between them. 

And that day, Az decided that he would go to any lengths for that smile.

* * *

**11 years ago.**

Azriel was standing in the hallway, surrounded by Eris Vanserra and his little followers. “Let me go.” He said in his deep voice. His voice had changed before most of his classmates. He had initially felt proud to grow faster than others but afterwards when everyone had started teasing him for it, he hated it. 

“What are you gonna do? Burn our hands?” Eris sneered at him. Az had been used to teasings of such, but he always had Cassian to help him. Now that Cassian had gone to high school, he was alone.

“He won’t, but I will.” They all turned towards the direction of that voice. 

Elain Archeron was standing with her arms crossed across her chest. She had a scowl on her face and her eyes were furious. 

Eris smirked at her. “And how are you going to do that, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes?” 

“Need I remind you who my elder sister is?” She said in a deadly calm voice. 

Eris’ expression turned into one of fear. Everyone in town was terrified of Nesta Archeron. Elain sauntered towards them and stopped as soon as she reached Azriel’s side.

“Now, you can run away and never trouble us again, or I could give a call to my sister as well as get you into detention.” Elain threatened. 

Eris’ friends started backing away slowly. “Oh, and apologize.”

“What?” 

“Apologize.” she gritted her teeth.

Eris looked at Az hesitantly. “Sorry Azriel.” Azriel just smirked.

As soon as Eris went away, Elain looked towards Az. “You okay? Did they hurt you?” 

Azriel looked at her and hugged her. She stiffened for a second before she too put her arms around him. He looked down at her striking brown eyes as he said, “You’re a badass.”

Elain giggled. “Nothing less for my best friend.” She started moving ahead, leaving Azriel behind, who couldn’t stop thinking how beautiful the girl in front of him was.

* * *

**9 Years Ago**

“I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

“Ugh, are they ever gonna stop?” Elain whispered from beside Azriel. 

Azriel looked at Feyre and Rhysand sitting opposite to them. They were at a victory dinner for their high school’s football team. Each player had a plus one and Azriel could only think of bringing Elain with him. He told her it was just as friends, but that wasn’t what he wanted.

Azriel was in love with Elain. 

And everytime he saw her with someone else, it hurt him deeply. His brother’s told him to tell her, but he was too scared that he would drive her away. 

So there he was, sitting with the girl he loved, at dinner, just as friends. 

Feyre turned towards Elain and gave her a sour look. “Oh, please Elain. Just because you’re not in love with someone doesn’t mean you can rain on everyone else’s parade.”

“I can if it makes me wanna vomit.” She replied. 

Az nudged her from the side, making her laugh. Rhys looked at both of them and then gave Az a pointed look. 

“Hey, Elain,” Cassian started from beside them, “How cool would it be if, all three of you sisters, ended up with all three of us brothers.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

Azriel flinched as his brother’s direct statement. Elain laughed and waved her hand. “Even though it would be really cool, we all know that’s never gonna happen.” 

Suddenly, there was silence among his brothers and the four of them looked at each other, making Azriel feel more broken than he had ever felt. He stood up and excused himself saying that he needed to get some fresh air. 

He walked out of the diner and reached his car. He leaned against it and hung his head down, cursing himself for thinking that he had any chance with someone as good as Elain. 

“Az?” The same voice that had haunted Az’s dreams since he was 12 came from behind him. 

He turned around and smiled at her. “I’m fine El. Go back inside.” She had a beanie over her chestnut locks and he could see her nose and cheeks were flushed. 

Every puff of her breath was visible. He had forgotten how cold it was and had realised he was not even wearing a jacket. 

“You’re not fine. I hurt you, didn’t I?” She said, her voice low and sad. She walked closer towards him.

“It’s not your fault El. It’s just...” There was no point in hiding it now. “I love you El. I have since forever, I guess.” 

Elain just blinked her eyes. “It’s okay El, you don’t have-” 

He couldn’t complete his sentence. 

Elain was kissing him.

He didn’t hesitate at all. He deepened the kiss and held onto her waist. She knotted her hands in his hair and moved closer than they ever could. 

She was the first one to break apart. She looked into his eyes and said, with a little smile. “I love you too, idiot.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. He rested his forehead on hers and tangled his hand with hers. 

“Should we tell them?” He whispered, a white cloud of air forming around them.

Elain grinned mischievously, “Let them figure it out on their own.”

Needless to say, they didn’t return to the diner.

* * *

**7 Years Ago.**

Azriel bent down on his bed peering down at a sleeping Elain. She looked so peaceful, surrounded with fluffy black pillows and wrapped up in a black comforter.

“May I know why you’re staring at me while I’m sleeping?” She said with her eyes closed but a smile resting on her face. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He replied softly. She was wearing his Velaris High hoodie which reached till her mid thigh and he knew very well that she was not wearing anything underneath. 

Elain chuckled and opened her eyes. When she saw what was in front of her, her smile faltered. She looked at Azriel with wide eyes as he held a ring box in his hand.

He smiled softly at her. “El, I love you so, so much, I can’t express it in words and you know how bad I am with those.” She giggled. “But here I am, trying to speak out my heart to the most wonderful girl I’ve ever known. I know, I’m not perfect, and by no means good enough for you, but I really want to try, El. I want to have a family with you and grow old with you and love you till my last breath.” He took the ring out of the box and held it up to her. “Elain Archeron, will you marry me?” 

Elain got up and sat on her knees. “But we’re only 18.” 

“I know, but I promise to wait for you Elain. I’ll wait for you my entire life.” He said solemnly.

She nodded her head, tears filling her eyes. “Yes. Definitely yes.” 

Azriel kissed her and slid the ring onto her finger. They broke apart and looked down at her hand. “I love you, Az. Forever.”

Azriel looked into her eyes and held her face with his hands. “Forever.” He promised.

And they spent the entire day in their own little bubble of happiness.

* * *

**Present**

Elain closed her old photo album as the little boy beside her fell asleep. She smiled and ruffled his hair. 

From the doorway she heard a small cough. Her smile faltered as she turned towards her fiancé, Graysen, looking at her with disapproval. 

She didn’t say anything as she got up from the bed and walked past him, hiding her tears and banishing the thoughts of the boy she once truly loved.

**\--------------------**

Azriel fell back on his bed. 

He was extremely tired after an entire day of torturing and spying. He despised what he had to do, but at the same time he was grateful for it. It was the one thing that had gotten him through the pain of losing the only person he loved. 

He reached into his side table drawer and took out an old photo, taken just after he had proposed. They looked so happy, it made him smile at the memory. 

He wished he could go back to those times and stay in those moments. But it was too late. And soon, with the onset of the sun, he would have to work again.

He slept with one wish, to be able to see her, hold her one last time.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

**Elain**

“And the award goes to… Taylor Swift!” I jump up from my seat on the sofa, my fingers still crossed. “Go Taylor! Go Taylor! Go Taylor!” I dance around the room, happy that my favorite singer got a Grammy. 

My leg gets caught on something on the floor and I trip, landing on my couch.

A high pitched chuckle comes from the corner of the room. I raise my head and gasp dramatically as I see my son laughing at my antics. 

“Daemon! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” I ask him. 

He gives me a toothy smile as he laughs and says, “Momma, what are you doing? No dancing after dinner, remember?” 

Ahh, damn it. Stupid kid rules. “I remember, but sometimes, when we’re really happy, we get to break a few rules.” I wink conspicuously. I move towards him slowly. He’s wearing his pyjamas and has a blue bunny in his hand. 

He makes a serious face and whispers, “Well momma, that means I can break a rule too, right?” 

Okay, what now? I put my hands on my hips. “Oh, and why is that, Dae?” 

He tries to keep a straight face as he says, “Because, I learned how to make a tie! Now, I can go to the party with you and Graysen!” His eyes are bright with hope as he says those words. I sigh. 

There is some stupid annual ball the next day and I have to attend it with Graysen because he claims it is my duty as his fiancé. 

Graysen is the CEO of a multi billionaire company and had met me when he dropped into the ER when I had just begun practicing. He started showing up wherever I went and initially, I was convinced that he was stalking me. 

Later, he asked me out and one date turned to ten, and within a year he had proposed. 

It took me an entire month to accept, considering he was the only serious relationship I had ever since high school. 

He is nice, not that bad to look at, but he isn’t what I had dreamed for myself. No one could ever be that man. I guess he too realises that I’m not a hundred percent into the relationship, but he probably thinks it's because of Daemon. 

He is one of those dominating CEO types, who needs everything under his control. And please do not confuse him with Christian Grey. He is nowhere near that level. Neither in looks, nor in sex.

“But Dae, momma already told you that it’s for big people, only. No kids are allowed.” I tell him as I lean down towards him. 

He makes a face of outrage. “But momma,” he says in the same tone as mine. “I asked Uncle Lu and he said that being grown up means being able to make a tie!” I am pretty sure Lucien did not expect that outcome from his conversation. 

“Sweetie, I’m not allowed to bring someone else with me.” I reason.

“Thas not true! Jason said that his dad was taking him. And he even gets to wear a suit!” He crosses his arms and pouts. “He can’t even make his own tie! I can! I’m a grown up and I can go!”

I try to hide my smile as I say, “Well, if you’re a grown up now, I think you can sleep with all the night lights off tonight, m’kay?”

He widens his eyes but doesn’t lose his stance. “I’m sure that if daddy were here, he would’ve taken me.” 

I instantly frown at his words. 

That’s new. He’s never played the dad card before. 

“Fine,” I say reluctantly, “I’ll talk to Graysen about it. If he says it’s okay, I’ll take you.”

“And a suit?”

“I’ll get you that suit as well.” I smile and ruffle his hair. He takes my hand and walks me back to his room. 

He lies down on his bed and shifts, making space for me to lie down as well. I lie on my side and look at him, his hazel eyes closed.

“Mommy?” He whispers.

“Hmm?”

“Please don’t turn the night lights off.” 

**~~~~~**

“Rise and shine, butterflies!” A loud, obnoxious voice says, causing me to wake up. I groan and cover my face with a pillow. Beside me, Daemon is already wide awake, being an early bird just like his father. 

Two pairs of hands, one little and one large, shake my shoulders. “Upupup _Up_ ”

“Nonono _No_.” I roll over, burrowing my face into the pillows. 

“Dae, please go and get a glass of _ice cold_ water.” Sounds of footsteps running out of the room come and the bed beside me dips. I open one eye and glare at the man grinning at me like a fiend. 

“I fucking hate you.” I deadpan.

“Trust me, I know.” Lucien continues smiling at me, offering me a hand. I groan and take it, sitting myself up and rubbing my eyes with my palm. 

He reaches behind him and produces a black mug, steam and the smell of coffee coming out of it. I grasp it and inhale it down. Lucien just laughs more. 

“What are you even doing here? I didn’t give you a key to come and ruin my sleep whenever you want.” 

“I am here to drop Daemon off to school and ensure that you reach the hospital within an hour.” He takes his phone out and starts swiping through his Instagram. 

Daemon enters the room with a glass of ice. He’s all dressed up in his uniform and ready for school. 

God, how late is it?

“Momma, you’re up!” He exclaims and hugs me tightly. “Good morning!”

I mumble a response and Lucien tells him to go outside and wait for him. Then, he looks at me, his eyes asking only one question, ‘ _Are you okay?_ ’

I nod. “It’s just, last night, Dae mentioned something about how he would be allowed to go to the ball if his dad was here.” I say softly. 

“And what did you say?”

“Nothing. I just said that I’ll ask Graysen about the ball. I can’t tell him the truth.” I take a sip from my mug.

“But one day, you’ll have to tell him. No matter how much love and affection you give him, he’ll always feel a void which only a father can fill.” Lucien says wistfully. 

“He’ll have Graysen.” Lucien looks at me as if I just said the dumbest thing in the world.

“You really think that dumb-dumb is gonna be a good father to Daemon?” He says. 

I ignore the pang of irritation I feel and nudge him, “You’re there.”

Lucien raises both his hands and shakes his head. “Nope. Not at all. I’m the fun and wild uncle type, not the strict daddy type.”

“That’s not what she said.” I smile as Lucien gives me a sour look. 

“Elain Archeron, that was a complete mom joke, do you know that?” I laugh and Lucien gets off the bed, moving towards the door. As soon as he reaches the threshold, he turns back to look at me and says before leaving, “He deserves to know the truth.”

And I can’t help but think about his father, the one man whom I thought I would spend my entire life with. Oh, how wrong I had been. 

I had spent the past 7 years telling Daemon stories about his father and that he couldn’t be here with him because his job wouldn’t allow him. And Daemon hadn’t even asked questions about it. He will a few years later. And hopefully by then, I’ll have an answer for him. 

In all honesty, Azriel Knight does not even know he has a son, and I intend to keep it that way.

**~~~~~**

“Just let him come this once, I promise, I won’t let him out of my sight.” I speak into my phone.

“Elain, that’s the thing. If he’s there, all you’ll think about is him. And I really need your undivided attention for tonight.” Graysen says from the other side of the phone. I am at the mall, standing in the middle of one of the kids clothing shops looking for a suit that would fit Daemon. 

“I think I can manage to give you my undivided attention for one night. I’ve done it before.” I smile as I say it despite the fact that I know he won’t be able to figure out the meaning behind it.

“I’m serious Elain, tonight’s way too important for me. I can’t have a kid screwing it up.” He barks into the phone. 

I change the position of my phone as I inspect one of the outfits. “He won’t screw it up. And Lucien will also be there to help, if the need ever arises.”

“Fine, just keep him away from me.” And he cuts the call without any further ado. 

It is at times like this when I question my taste in men. I am one of the best neurologists in Velaris, well known for my research. I have single handedly raised a kid since the age of 18 and yet, I am wasting my time with men like Graysen. But I can’t really back out now. 

I had fought with Nesta regarding the same reason and after that we both drifted apart. I am too proud to actually admit to her that Graysen is bad and break things off with him. 

I look around for a little while longer and am about to give up, when suddenly something catches my eye. I take a black three piece off the rack and inspect it closely. 

It looks exactly like what Azriel had worn for our junior prom. I smile as I remember that day. 

That was the first time Azriel and I had sex. Both of us were shit scared. He was terrified that he would hurt me and I was scared that I would mess things up. However, we ended up spending the weekend together in our own little frenzy.

“Elain!” I snap out of my daze and turn towards the direction of the voice. I widen my eyes when I find my younger sister, Feyre, walking towards me, looking surprised as well. 

“Feyre! Oh my God! You’re all grown up!” I say. She stretches her arms wide and I embrace her tightly. 

The last time I had seen her was before I had left for college in Adriata. That had been 7 years ago. We tried to stay in touch, but after a while, we had stopped, her becoming entangled with her own life and me with mine.

“Of course I’ve grown up. What, did you expect me to remain 17 my entire life?” She smirks. We look at each other and start laughing. My glance falls at the ring resting on her hand. 

“You got engaged and you didn’t tell me!?” I look at her, mouth agape.

She brings her hand to her neck. “Actually, married.” Before I can say anything she continues, “It was a very private thing, Rhys and I didn’t invite that many people.” So she got married to Rhys Knight. 

Nesta is married to Cassian Knight and has a 3 year old daughter. At least two of the Archeron sisters get to be with the men they love. 

“So, what are you doing here?” Feyre asks. I then realise how it must seem to her to see me standing in the middle of a kid’s clothing store. I never told either of my sister’s about Daemon. They were too close to Azriel and it was too late by the time I was in a condition to tell people.

I instantly hide the suit behind me. “Oh nothing, I was just looking for some clothes for a friend’s kid. His sixth birthday’s coming up and I thought I could buy him something nice, you know.” 

Feyre narrows her eyes. “You’re buying a birthday gift at a shop where they sell clothes that cost at least triple digits?” 

“She’s a really close friend.” I reason.

Feyre shrugs. “Okay, cool. I was buying clothes for Tootsie. She’s entering her Terrific Threes!” Feyre says while laughing. I groan, remembering what a mess I was when Daemon had turned three. I was in my last year of college and things were not easy. I’m pretty sure I would’ve died if I didn’t have Lucien by my side. 

“It’s not terrific at all, it’s much more terrible than the terrible twos.” I blurt out. 

“How would you know?” She asks suspiciously. 

Didn’t think that one through. 

“I saw my friend handle them. She has twins, so.” I try to cover. Fortunately, she believes me and lets it go. Her phone pings and she says that she has to leave. 

We share numbers and promise to catch up on the years missed out. When Feyre leaves, I quickly buy the black suit for Daemon and head back to the hospital where I work my ass off for the rest of the day.

**~~~~~**

When I reach back home, there’s already a limousine waiting for me in my driveway. I sigh as I enter, calling myself a fool for thinking that Graysen would be riding with me. 

The entire house is silent when I walk into the foyer. “Daemon?” I call out. “Dae, where are you? Momma’s got you a gift.” 

“Boo!” Daemon jumps out from beside me, wearing a masquerade mask. I let out a fake scream and he ends up laughing. I hug him as I remove the mask from his face. 

“What’s this sweetie?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. The man outside said Graysen sent it for you.” I take out my phone and look and my recent messages and find one from Graysen saying that it’s a masquerade ball. Just perfect.

“Okay, so let’s get Mrs. Pumphrey to clean you up, then you can wear your new suit, m’kay?” 

“M’kay! And can I wear a tie?” He asks seriously. 

I nod. “You need to wear a tie. How else would they know that you’re a big boy?” 

He snatches the clothes bag from me and runs inside, dragging his nanny, Mrs. Pumphrey along with him. I straighten up and let out an exhausted breath. 

At least one of us is looking forward to this wretched ball. 

**\-----------------------------------**

**Azriel**

“I swear I don’t know where he is.” The man sitting in front of me says. Albert, Alfred. 

I can’t remember his name. And I really don’t give a fuck.

“That’s not what these images say, Algert.” Cassian says from beside me. 

Aah, Algert. Who the fuck names their child _Algert_? It’s as if they were punishing him as soon as he was born. I take a peek at the images in Cassian’s hand, showing the man in front of us playing out a deal with our current problem. 

“I don’t know how you got these, but I really don’t know where he spends his weekends. Probably with his fiancé.” Algert looks at me warily as he says, “She has a kid.” Cassian gives him a look of indifference. 

“How does that matter. Probably knocked her up and is marrying the poor girl out of generosity.” 

The man, whatever his name is, shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s his, with the way he behaves around the kid. I’ve seen the mother, though. She’s a real beauty, with those big brown eyes of hers.”

At the mention of brown eyes, I instantly look down at the table, where my blade is kept. There’s only one person that comes to mind when I think of brown eyes, and she should be the last thing on my mind when I’m sitting in a torture chamber, interrogating some wannabe criminal. She’s too good, too pure for this kind of world. For my world. 

“Listen, if you give me something worthwhile to work on, I can convince this dude right here,” - Cassian points towards me - “to let you go without hurting you. And I’m telling you, once I saw him get so pissed off by some guy and he used his blade and slit him open from one end to the other.” Okay, extreme exaggeration, but I don’t say anything, not wanting to steal his thunder. 

I continue looking down at my blade, spinning it silently. Cassian leans towards the man and whispers, “It’s always the quiet ones, am I right?” 

That’s it.

I instantly get up from my seat with my blade in hand, causing the man to shoot me an apprehensive look. “I’m out of here.” I say as I walk out of the room. Just as I reach the door, I turn around and punch the guy, just for good measure. 

Cassian howled and the man, - Albert, Algert, whatever - looks at me in horror. “What the hell was that for?” I shrug and exit the interrogation room. 

I tuck my blade into my boot as I stand by the door waiting for Cassian. I take my lighter out of my pocket and start fiddling around with it. Within a minute, he walks out with a triumphant smile. 

I give him a blank look. “It’s always the quiet ones?” 

He shrugs. “What? I need to do something to make you more intimidating. And I don’t see you spouting poetry.” He accuses. 

I smirk at him as I say, “I don’t need to resort to it.” 

Cassian gives me a taunting smile as he says, “Spoke like a sparrow once you walked out.”

“That’s not the expression.”

He pouts his lips. “No, I’m pretty sure it is.” 

The door beside us opens and Rhys beckons us to enter. 

We walk into the dimly lit room and I look at the man sitting in the room beside us through the one way mirror. Rhys sits down on one of the chairs, I take the other, leaving Cassian to stand. 

“Things are getting serious, Az.” Rhys starts. 

“Well, good morning to you too.” Cassian remarks. Both of us ignore him and I study Rhys carefully. 

“We’re gonna kidnap the fiancé once we get information on her, right?” I ask. If Rhys is surprised, he doesn’t show it.

Rhys looks down into a file in his hand. “We found out about the fiancé. She’ll be there today, at his annual ball.” He then shuts the file and looks at me. “You really okay with abducting someone?” I just shrug in response. It’s not worse than killing and torturing people. And it’s not as if I’m gonna hurt the girl. “Okay, that’s that then. You and Cassian will attend the ball as guests and pick the girl up from there.”

I stop Rhys before he can leave. “Does the girl have a name?” 

Rhys hesitates and then waves his hand in the air. “You can ask her once you have her. Meet with Cassian and figure your strategy.”

“And the kid?” Both Cassian and Rhys share a look.

“We don’t have any confirmation about a kid, but once we do, we’ll see what to do about it.” I look at Rhys for a moment and then get up from my seat without another word. 

I leave the room with Cassian. He grins at me. “We’ve been levelled down to kidnapping, Az. We have no importance now.” I roll my eyes. Ignoring him, I move ahead, walking outside the building and sitting in my car. 

As soon as I turn on my Aston Martin DBX, my phone starts ringing with some obnoxious ringtone that Cassian set for himself. I turn my phone on silent and drive off to the only place I can think of. 

**~~~~~**

I stop my car in front of my old house. I had moved out of it as soon as Elain left, unable to handle all the memories of her it was connected with. Rhys and Cassian had also moved out, the two of them living not far away. Only Rhys’ dad continues living here. 

Since we were little kids, we had been told to call him Sir, not even knowing his real name. Even in school, whenever we had to write our father’s name, we would always write Sir. 

At the moment, he was not in town, gone out for some gang business. Which meant the mansion was empty. But it never felt that way. 

For me, it was filled with moments I spent with Elain. My El. 

I know any regular man would say it’s pathetic to be stuck up on one girl, but it isn’t for me. 

I had given Elain my entire life. There wasn’t a single thing that I wouldn’t have done for her. And I’m pretty sure that if she came up in front of me, even now, I would rip my heart out for her. 

Rhys had offered to look for her and see where she was but I didn’t take him up on it. I had avoided everything about her like the plague. Last I heard from Cassian was that she was engaged to some man whom Nesta didn’t approve of. Hearing that had tore open a wide chasm inside me. But what else did I expect? That she’d sit along waiting for me? She was too smart for that. 

God knows how miserable I would’ve been if her sisters resembled her or at the minimum had the same eyes as hers, only reminding me of what I lost. There were times when I envied Rhys and Cassian for being so lucky. I hated myself more for that. 

I don’t know how long I have been standing in front of the old mansion when I hear a car honking from behind. 

“Hey, Batman!” Cassian stuck his head out of his car window. He used to call me bat boy when we were kids because of my dark and brooding appearance. Years later, when I finally defeated him in hand-to-hand combat, he changed it to Batman. “We still have tons of work to do! So, if you’re done sulking, can we start working?”

I shake my head and hide a small smile as I walk towards my car and follow him back to our headquarters.

**~~~~~**

I directly walk into my office room as I reach the headquarters, ignoring everyone else. 

It is neat and immaculate, unlike Cassian’s heathen mess next door. Said heathen, strolls into my room as if it's his own, dropping down onto one of my seats. 

“Rhys gave me all the info on the girl. So, how the hell are we gonna get her?” He asks. I just shrug.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asks, clearly frustrated by my lack of answers. 

“We’ll lure her out and grab her.” I simply say.

“And how will we be doing that?” He urges. 

I smirk as I say, “Using your dashing charm.”

Cassian frowns for a moment and then grins at me goofily. “How ‘bout, we use your dashing charm? Huh? That will definitely work.”

I start to object but Rhys enters my room. “You guys done planning?” He asks. 

Cassian answers before I can. “Oh yeah, we’re gonna use Az’s irresistible charm to capture her. It’s foolproof, considering she’d already be in shock when she sees him.”

Rhys gives Cassian an warning look as I look between both of them, trying to figure out what they’re hiding.

“We just got confirmation that there is a kid. Must be about six - seven years old. Try to stay away from him. If worse comes to worst, bring him along.”

“I’ll handle the kid. I have experience.” Cassian pitched in. “Az can seduce the girl into his deathtrap.”

“That’ll work. Use that and good luck for tonight. Go and get ready, it’s time.” With that Rhys walks out of the room. 

Cassian stands up as well and pats me on the back. “Suit up Batman.” 

“That’s the Avenger’s.” 

“I don’t care!” He sings.

I sigh. Well, I guess I now know how marvelous the stupid ball will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a few sentences I used from the books.   
> No offense to any Algerts out there.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

##  **Elain**

I stand in front of my mirror, looking at my outfit. 

Who is the woman behind the mask? Is it Elain Archeron, renowned Neurologist? Single mother? Graysen’s fiancé? Or a simple girl who’s too broken to be fixed? No one knows. 

That’s the special thing about masks. You can hide all your deepest, darkest secrets and people will only see the mask. No one cares about what’s underneath. For all it matters, I could truly be Selena Gomez underneath and no one would know. 

Not that I’m as perfect as her. 

I run my hand over my blue dress. It truly is beautiful. I wear my black heeled sandals and head outside with my matching clutch in hand. 

Daemon’s waiting for me outside in the foyer, sitting on a seat while Mrs. Pumphrey ties his shoelaces. He looks at me and smiles in amazement.

“Momma looks so pretty!” 

I laugh slightly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He turns his attention towards Mrs. Pumphrey who's also smiling. 

I go in search of my phone and see that there’s a missed call from Lucien. I call him back. It rings for a second before he picks it up. “Hey Ellie!” 

“Were you waiting for me to call you back? Aww.” I joke.

“Don’t flatter yourself Archeron.” I laugh at his comment. “I just called to let you know that I’ll be taking you to the ball.”

I frown. “There’s no need for that. Graysen’s already sent a car.”

“No-can-do, already at your door.” And like clockwork, the front door opens and Lucien strides into the foyer. I roll my eyes at him. 

“Uncle Lu!” Daemon runs into his arms and Lucien picks him up. 

“Oh my Goodness Dae! You look so good in a suit!” He tickles him. “And did you make that tie all by yourself?” 

“Uh-huh.” Daemon says as he laughs. “Momma looks good too, right?” 

I run a hand down myself, presenting my outfit. Lucien shrugs. “Eh, I’ve seen better.” I glare and throw a pillow at him. 

“Ow, what the fuck Archeron? How do you make a pillow hurt?” 

I smirk slyly. “It’s a talent.”

“Uncle Lu, language!” Daemon screeched with his ears closed. Lucien laughed at that. 

“God knows what’ll happen when he meets Cassian.” He muttered. Cassian?

“What do you mean?” 

“Uh, nothing. Just wondering, you know?” He sets Daemon down on the ground. “Come on, let’s take a picture of you and Daemon before we get going.” He took his phone out and successfully avoided the topic as Daemon started posing for photographs, but I still wonder why he suddenly thought about that.

~~~~

We drive with Lucien, much to Graysen’s delight. I had spent an entire ten minutes arguing with him and in the end he had ended the call with ‘Do whatever the hell you want’

Lucien and Daemon spent the entire ride singing along with the songs playing on the radio while I looked outside the window, watching the streets of Velaris pass by.

I remember wanting so badly to leave Velaris and explore the world when I was a kid. After Daemon, all those wishes lost meaning and the only thing I wanted was to provide my child with all the happiness in the world. I had returned to Velaris with Lucien and lived with him till I was able to stand up on my own. 

I owed Lucien and his family a lot. Both his parents had been supportive and had helped me throughout college. They did what my parents should’ve done for me. 

We reach the hotel where the ball is being held, cars filling the street and journalists waiting for famous personalities. 

Lucien stops the car and just as I am getting out, he grabs my hand and looks at me solemnly. “Ellie, whatever happens tonight, just remember that I love you.”

I shoot him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, just keep that in mind. I love the both of you and whatever I do, it is for your happiness.” With that he gets out of the car and takes Daemon out of his car seat. I look at him even after he starts walking. 

What does he mean? 

~~~~

I walk into the great hall where the ball is being held. There’s a huge image of Graysen near the entrance which makes me cringe. There’s a huge chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. In the corner of the room, there’s a chocolate fountain along with a stack of champagne flutes. 

“Wow.” Daemon speaks from beside me. His eyes are wide in awe and his mouth is slightly open. He grabs onto Lucien’s leg and hides behind it. 

A server comes towards me and requests to take me to Graysen. 

“Lucien, can you handle him for awhile? I need to go to Graysen.” 

Lucien nods and holds Daemon’s hand, bringing him ahead. “Sure Ellie, go have as much fun as you can between old businessmen.”

I turn around and stick my tongue out at him. He laughs and walks towards the chocolate fountain. I follow the server and reach a table filled with old men wearing drab suits, just like Graysen. 

“Aah, Elain sweetheart. Thank you so much for joining us!” Graysen says overenthusiastically. I try not to roll my eyes as he stands up and places a kiss on my cheek. “Gentleman, I want you all to meet Elain Archeron, my fiancé.” All the old men raise their glasses in greeting. I smile and wave my hand, trying to act shy.

A man wearing a beige suit asks, “What is it that you do?” I’m about to answer when Graysen intervenes. “Oh nothing much, she helps people. She’s a doctor.” All the men sitting there start laughing.

“Oh, so almost like a social service thing.” The man asks. All the men start laughing louder. 

I want to exclaim that I am a neurologist who has written so many articles that the man would die before he could read them all, but I don’t. Because I’m nice. And also because Graysen just nods his head in agreement. 

Graysen wraps his arms around me and says, “Why don’t you go sit with everyone else’s wives?” 

Translation: You’re job here is done, go and gossip. 

I smile at them and leave without another word, walking towards the bar. I order one whiskey, neat, and look around the hall. 

Women are in elegant outfits, men in suits and ties, everyone hiding their faces behind masks. It looks like the ball scene from Cinderella, only almost everyone here is as bad as the step-sisters and step-mother and there is no way that I would find my Prince Charming.

I search for Daemon and find him with Lucien, talking with two other men. I look at them for a while, the two men looking very familiar. I shrug it off, thinking I must’ve seen them at some of Graysen’s other parties. 

I’m about to take a sip from my drink when suddenly a hand comes and roughly grabs my glass.

“What the hell!” I stand up, only to find Graysen glaring at me. “Why’d you take my drink?”

“You shouldn’t drink this stuff. It’s for men. Order some girly drink for yourself.” 

What the fuck is a girly drink? And since when has there been a gender restriction on whiskey? I am about to retort when another man comes and slings his arm over my shoulders.

“Let the girl enjoy her drink, Graysen.” Behind me, an old man with dark hair and dark eyes smirks at Graysen. I look towards Graysen who slightly pales. 

“I didn’t know you were attending today.” He said as his voice shook. 

The man brought me closer to him. “How did you not expect me, a Knight, to not come to your ball?” The man looks at me. “Won’t you introduce me?”

“ Sir Knight, this is my fiancé, Elain Archeron. Elain, this is Sir Knight. He own’s Knight enterprises.” 

“Knight? As in the gang?” I ask like an idiot. 

Sir Knight smiles as me. “Yes, exactly like the gang.” He rubs his lower lip. “Archeron, huh? Both of my daughter-in-laws are Archerons. Good luck Graysen, you’re in for a wild life.” This is Rhysand’s father? What is he doing here? Does that mean Rhys is here as well? Sir Knight leaves by raising his glass in salute. 

Graysen releases an irritated sigh as he grabs my shoulders. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me that both of your sisters were married to the Knight family?” 

“You never cared about them and I never thought it was important.” I shrug. 

“The Knight family is fucking important. They can fucking kill us, do you know that?” He grabs my shoulder tightly. 

“Why would they kill us?” I narrow my eyes at him. “What did you do?”

He widens his eyes in anger and then suddenly lets go of me. “What I do is none of your business.”

~~~~

I’m sitting at a table filled with housewives and gossip queens when Lucien shows up beside me. I look at him and he offers his hand. “May I have this dance?” All the other ladies at the table giggle like little girls.

I smile and take his hand, gliding towards the dance floor. He puts his hand on my waist and I place mine on his shoulder as we start swaying to the music.

“Where's Daemon?” I whisper.

“Oh, he’s running around, wreaking havoc.” I give him a stern look and he lets out a chuckle. “Don’t worry, he won’t do anything. He’s in safe hands.”

“And whose hands would those be?”

“A friend of mine.” I’m about to ask more when Lucien spins me around and leaves my hand. Suddenly someone else catches hold of it. I look up directly into mysterious hazel eyes. 

They instantly remind me of Azriel. 

The man pulls me closer to him, gripping my waist and we start swaying to the music. He smells like night chilled mist and cedar. Exactly how Azriel used to smell like.

I’m too dumbstruck to speak. His hazel eyes look into mine, as if searching for an answer to an unsolvable question. I don’t realise it, but we’ve moved much closer than anyone does during a dance. 

I move my hand down from his shoulder, touching his arms. I dare myself to speak. “Azriel?” It’s so soft, I don’t think he even heard me.

He inhales a sharp breath. He opens his mouth but Graysen comes beside me. “I’m sorry, I need to steal my fiancé.” 

He doesn’t let go, though, his hazel eyes still pouring into mine. I feel my heart beat increasing and it gets difficult to breathe. Neither of us are letting go. 

Graysen lets out a frustrated sound and tears my hand away from his, pulling me away from the man, Azriel.

He pulls me away near the exit to the back gardens where no one can see us. “First, you bring that heathen of yours. Then, you sit alone getting drunk like some alcoholic and now you’re dancing with strangers?” He shakes me. “Who the hell is Azriel?” 

I don’t answer. I can't. All I can think of is the fact that Azriel is here. In the same place as me. As Daemon.

“Who’s Azriel?” Graysen demands.

“Daemon’s father.” I breathe out. He gives me a look of pure shock.

“You knew him?”

At his statement, I look up at him. “What the hell do you mean?” 

He shrugs, “I just thought it would’ve been some drunken one night stand. I never thought you’d be in an actual relationship.”

I stare at him, my mouth agape. “What are you trying to insinuate? That I had someone’s kid whom I don’t even know?” Anger pours out from my words but he doesn’t care. 

“Whatever.” He walks away, without looking back at me.

I walk out to the back garden, wishing for some fresh air. I stand near a rose bush, inhaling the cold, fresh air. I finally start to calm down when suddenly someone calls out my name. “Elain?” 

I inwardly groan. I would recognize that dark and smooth voice anywhere. I turn around and look at his beautiful and elegant face. His hazel eyes looking at me warily. He holds his mask in his hands, his gloves discarded somewhere on the way. He’s breathing heavily as if he ran all the way here. He probably did. 

“What are you doing here?” I breathe out when suddenly another voice comes from behind Azriel. 

“Momma, see! Uncle Cass! See!” Daemon rushes towards me and behind him is Cassian, in a similar suit as Azriel, his brows furrowed in worry. Daemon smiles at me in excitement and then looks towards Azriel. He widens his eyes and looks at him in bewilderment. 

It’s the first time he’s seen his father in real life. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve taken my phone out and recorded the moment, but nothing about this is normal. 

A huge smile crosses Daemon’s face and he runs towards Azriel, wrapping his arms around Azriel’s legs as he shouts in excitement. “Daddy!”

**\-----------------------------------**

##  **Azriel**

I am going to murder someone. Preferably Rhys for sending me to this stupid ball. Or Cassian for driving me batshit crazy. 

We’re waiting near the chocolate fountain waiting for Rhys’ guy to come to us. Who the hell even is his guy? I always thought that I was his guy. Maybe Cassian was right. We have no importance anymore.

Cassian nudges me with his elbow. “See anyone you like? This place is filled with ladies. Single ladies, divorced ladies, ladies who want to cheat on their husbands with sex gods, you get ‘em all.”

I look straight ahead as I say, “Why don’t you volunteer?”

“I’d like for my balls to stay exactly where they are, thank you very much.” I smirk. “Plus, you really need to get laid. I can’t even imagine how miserable your hand would feel.” 

“Do me a favour and blow me.” A woman beside us passes by and gasps when she hears us. I don’t even look at her. 

“I don’t swing that way Batman. And a heads up, they’ve just entered. The girl looks like this.” Cassian raises his phone and shows me a picture of a woman standing elegantly in a blue dress and a simple black mask. Not gonna lie, she looks beautiful. 

“What about the kid?”

Cassian pockets his phone. “No photo but he’s wearing a black suit. Oh look, there’s our guy.”

I look up and am shocked at what I see. Lucien Vanserra walks towards me, holding a little kid’s hand. I look at the kid and that’s when I get the actual shock. “Holy shit, Az? Am I dead? Did we go to the past? Cause I swear I can see a kid version of you walking towards me.” Cassian speaks from beside me. I don’t reply to him. Instead, I stare at the little kid in front of me who barely reaches my stomach and looks like an exact copy of me. He has the same hazel eyes as mine, his hair as dark as mine, his face having the same shapes and curves. He can’t be more than seven years old. I instantly look up towards Lucien. 

“What the fuck is this? Who’s kid is it?” I snap. Lucien raises both his hands in surrender. 

“You know who. And don’t say anything to me. None of this is my fault.” I look towards Cassian, who is still in shock. “Did you know about this?” 

Cassian looks up at me and shakes his head absentmindedly. “I had no idea about the kid.”

“Cassian why the hell are we here?”

A little, meek voice speaks up. “We’re here to attend Graysen’s ball. Momma said we had to come because she’s his fiancé and an Archeron always fulfills their duties.” I look at the kid. Even though no part of his sentence makes any sense, he says it so proudly. 

Archeron. Fucking Archeron. Fucking Elain Archeron.

Cassian kneels down and takes hold of his hand. “What’s your name?” 

“My name is Daemon…” He looks towards Lucien who mouths something back at him. Then the boy smiles brightly as he says, “My name is Daemon Knight. But I usually tell people it’s Archeron because that’s my momma’s name.” 

I don’t think I’m breathing. I don’t even think I’m blinking. Lucien moves towards me. 

“She wanted to give him his father’s name, but she never uses it. That’s why he asks how he should introduce himself.” I stare at the little kid, Daemon. 

I remember when we were kids, we had some stupid activity in school to make a list of names for our future kids. The first name on my list had been Daemon. I don’t even remember why. I don’t remember any of the other names, but I remember that one because Elain had said that she really liked that name. And at that moment there was nothing more I wanted than to be able to share a child with her. 

I had no fucking clue that would ever come true. 

Cassian removes his mask and smiles at the kid. He widens his eyes in surprise and gasps. “Uncle Cass!!” He hugs Cassian fiercely. Cassian shoots Lucien a confused look who just smiles sadly and takes his phone out to click a picture of both of them.

The kid moves back and looks at Cassian with his big hazel eyes. “Did you bring Uncle Rhys and Auntie Nesta with you?” Then he smiles wider. “Ooh, is daddy here?” Cassian looks back at me and I panic. I walk away from them, needing space of my own. 

“He’s a great kid you know.” Lucien comes up from behind me, leaning against a pillar. I slump against the wall.

“He’s mine?” I ask in disbelief. Lucien nods. “Does she still hate me?”

He gives me a wistful look. “Only she can tell you that.” 

“She’s gonna hate me more after today, isn’t she?”

He pats me on the back and walks away, leaving me alone. 

~~~~

I’m sitting near the bar sipping my fourth drink when I get a message from Rhys asking about the mission. Then there’s another one that says to take the girl and kid to our winter cabin in the mountains. I slam my phone on the counter in annoyance. 

Rhys probably knew everything and didn’t even bother to tell me. That little shit is so dead. 

I haven’t seen Cassian around ever since I left him with the kid. I bet he’s running around with him, trying to have fun with his nephew. 

My son. 

It feels weird to even say it. I can’t have a kid, especially not with the one girl whom I love. I don’t deserve that kind of happiness.

I see Lucien bring the girl in blue towards the dance floor. That’s my que. 

I walk towards the pair and stand behind the girl, my gaze fixed on her chestnut locks.

“And whose hands would that be?” She says. I instantly feel an overwhelming rush of feelings as I hear her voice. The same voice I’ve longed to hear. The one that’s lived in dreams since I was 12.

Lucien spins her around and backs away. I instantly grab hold of her and pull her towards me. She smells like roses and lemongrass. 

I look into her big brown eyes and grip her waist tightly, unconsciously pulling her closer, the need to hold her and never let her go overpowering my senses.

Both of us sway to the music, her hands moving down to my arms. She looks into my eyes and softly whispers, “Azriel?”

I inhale sharply. The sound of my name from her lips is heart shattering.

Suddenly Graysen comes beside us asking for Elain. She continues looking at me and I don’t let go of her. I won’t let go of her. Not again. He comes between us and tears my hand away from hers. I get this strong urge to rip him apart but I don’t. I watch as he pulls Elain away from me. I instantly move towards the bar and order another whiskey. 

“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” A voice I recognise comes from beside me. I instantly straighten my posture. 

“Good evening Sir. I didn’t know you were still in Velaris.” 

Rhys’ father. My adoptive father. Sir. 

“Boy, there’s a lot about me that you don’t know of.” He takes a sip from his glass. “I always thought that it would be Rhys who would lose his heart in love. Cassian was more likely to get kicked in the balls. But you, I never expected you to be the prey of love.” I sit still, saying nothing as my grip around the glass tightens and Sir continues speaking. “What is it in that Archeron beauty that has us Knight men trapped?” 

Us? He laughs as if he knows what I’m wondering. “Feyre works for me and is my literal daughter-in-law, Nesta, I’m not gonna lie, terrifies me. But Elain, she’s nothing to me.” Where is he going with this? I’m shocked that my glass hasn’t broken yet. 

“Maybe, I could try my luck with her?” No. I instantly stand up and leave, running outside to the back garden not wanting to do something I’ll regret. I remove my gloves and let them drop. Then I remove my mask.

When I reach outside, I find Elain standing in front of a rose bush. “Elain?” I say warily.

She turns and looks at me. She’s no longer wearing her mask and she looks as beautiful as ever. 

My breathing becomes shallow as if I just ran. “What are you doing here?” She asks when suddenly someone comes running from behind us.

“Momma, see! Uncle Cass! See!” The kid moves towards us dragging a worried Cassian behind him and looks at Elain and then towards me. His eyes widen and jaw drops in awe. Then a huge smile crosses his face and he runs towards me, holding my legs as he shouts, “Daddy!”

I instantly stiffen and I feel Elain do the same. “Daddy! You’re finally here! Are you here to take us back home with you?” He asks. 

I look towards Elain who’s looking between me and Cassian in confusion. I’m about to speak when suddenly sounds of gunshots and screaming comes from inside. 

I instantly turn and look towards the hall and then at Cassian. The little kid grips me harder and looks up at me in fear. “What was that Daddy?” Another gunshot sound comes and he jumps with a shriek. “Momma!”

I look towards Elain who herself is looking towards me. I turn to Cassian. “Take both of them to the car and if I don’t come back in ten minutes, drive off without me, okay?” He nods and I throw my car keys to him. He grins wickedly and I sigh, “Please don’t wreck it.” 

I start to move but I can’t because the kid is still gripping me tightly. I put my hands on his shoulders and slowly bring him away from me. I kneel down and look him in the eye. The same as mine. “Hey, I need you to go with Uncle Cass and your mom okay? And promise to not make a sound.” He nods and then rushes to Elain.

“What? No, I need to go to Graysen. And Lucien.” Elain starts protesting. I shoot Cassian a look and Cassian nods, grabbing Elain’s hand tightly and pulling her away with him. As soon as they’re out of sight, I rush back inside the ball room.

~~~~

Inside is complete chaos. People are here and there, pushing and tripping people, all just to reach the exit. I jump behind the bar counter and take my gun out. I squat and look around for anyone hiding nearby. 

I peek at the room where things have considerably become quiet. Suddenly someone shoots and a bottle behind me bursts. I take another look and another bottle explodes. 

I shift to the side and peek from there.There’s a mirror where I can see the man’s reflection. He’s wearing a mask on and I hurriedly wear mine. I turn slightly and aim at him.

I directly shoot him in the head and he slumps down on the ground. I get up and move towards him. When I kneel down to inspect him, I hear the sound of a gun cocking and feel it against the back of my head. 

I slowly raise my hands and get up, turning around. The man is wearing a mask similar to the man I just killed. 

“Who sent you here?” He asks, his accent slightly different. 

I smirk as I reply. “You’ll never know.” Before he can move, I take my blade out of my sleeve and slash his throat with it, blood spurting out. 

I search him for his belongings and find an iPhone along with a burner phone. I find the same on the other man. I take them and leave, running towards my car. 

Cassian is waiting for me in the passenger seat, keeping the driver’s empty for me. Elain sits behind with the kid leaning on her. I get in and drive away.

~~~~

About an hour later, when we’re nearing the cabin, Elain speaks up for the first time. “Where are you taking us?” She says it in a hushed voice. I look back at her in the rear view mirror. The kid is lying down on her and is asleep and she has removed her black cardigan. Beside me, Cassian is asleep as well.

“We’re going to our winter cabin.” I answer. I don’t know if she remembers it or not. 

The way her eyes light up shows that she does and she starts blushing, obviously remembering whatever we did there. How I proposed to her there when we had gone there for her birthday. I watch Elain glance down at her left hand where a different ring now lies. _Graysen’s ring_. 

She clears her throat and avoids looking at me. “Why are we going there?”

“To keep you safe.” 

“From what?” 

“I don’t know.” I take a turn and we finally reach our cabin, already lit up from inside. Ofcourse, Nesta and Feyre would also be here to greet their sister. 

I turn back and look towards the kid who has started waking up. I try to smile at him as I announce, “We’re here.”


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

#  **Elain**

I wake Daemon up from his sleep as Azriel opens my door. He picks Daemon up and slings him over his shoulder. He wordlessly moves into the cabin.

I wonder what he must be thinking. He did just find out that he has a seven year old kid. 

Cassian comes and helps me out of the car. He slings his hand around my shoulder. “Welcome home Ellie.” He gives me a sleepy smile. As we reach the porch, Cassian stops me. “Let me warn you, your sisters are extremely pissed off, so tread lightly.” I look towards the door and enter, taking in a deep breath. 

As soon as I enter, two pairs of hands embrace me, hugging me tightly. “Can’t - breathe.” I rasp. But neither of them loosen their grip. I finally give in, tears dripping from my eyes. After a complete minute, they let go of me and I see Rhys and Cassian standing in front of us giving me a smile. 

“Won’t we get a hug, Ellie?” Rhys asks with his arms wide open. I sniffle and smile as I run towards them. Both of them embrace me and a strong smell of lavender and citrus comes from them. We break apart and Cassian ruffles my hair. I let out a giggle. I missed him. All of them. 

Someone clears their throat and we all look towards Azriel who is leaning against the doorframe. He looks towards Rhys and motions towards the back. Both Rhys and Cassian follow behind him. Mid-way, Azriel turns around and directly looks at me for the first time, pausing for a moment. “First floor, fourth room to the left.” 

At first, I didn’t understand, but then I realize that he’s talking about the room in which he kept Daemon. I nod in thanks and he walks away. I move towards the stairs and walk up slowly, running my hand over the railing. All of the memories I have of this cabin flash through my mind. 

Me tagging along with Nesta or Feyre whenever Rhys or Cassian invited them. A summertime getaway with Azriel for my 18th birthday, when we came to the mountains for some quiet time. Azriel proposing- 

No. Don’t think about any of that.

I walk upstairs and move towards the room Daemon is sleeping in. I instantly recognise it as Azriel’s room.  _ Our room _ . And now our child is sleeping in it. I stand at the doorway and see how peaceful Daemon looks. I move inside and kneel on the floor beside him. “I’m sorry Dae.” I whisper and I kiss his forehead. 

Behind me I hear a gasp. Both Nesta and Feyre are wide eyed and look towards Daemon, realizing who’s child it is. 

“I knew you had a kid, but I thought it was Graysen’s. But Az?” Feyre whispers and brings her hand up to her mouth. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I stare at them for a minute. “I couldn’t.” I finally breathe out. 

Nesta doesn’t say anything. She strides towards me and embraces me once again, kneeling down beside me. Soon a second pair of hands come and Feyre also kneels with us, no one uttering a single word, the only sounds coming from Daemon’s deep breathing. 

“He’s cute, though.” Nesta says after a few minutes. I can’t help but giggle. Daemon hates being called cute.

Just like Azriel did.

“I am going to spoil him rotten.” Feyre declares. 

Nesta narrows her eyes at her. “Yeah yeah. Your husband is the heir to the Knight gang, you have a lot to give. No need to brag.” Feyre just sticks her tongue at her as it strikes me, that at the moment, family or not, my son is in the midst of an entire bunch of dangerous people.

Both of them must have felt me tense because they move back and look at me in doubt. “You okay?”

“Rhys and Cassian are part of a gang?” I ask warily, even though I know the answer. 

Both of them share a look. That’s enough to confirm my suspicions but I still let Feyre answer. “We’re not bad people. You know that neither of us would allow something like that.” She softly places her hand on mine but I pull it away. 

“There were gunshots at the ball and Azriel had blood on him.” Even though it had been dark, I had seen the red splotch on his shirt. I didn’t know if it was his blood or someone else’s. 

Feyre furrows her eyebrows. “What do you mean there was gunshots? They were there for you, not someone else.”

For me? Then I remember who else I saw at the ball and wonder out loud, “I understand why you would send Cassian and Azriel, but why was Rhys’ dad there?” 

Feyre widens her eyes. “Sir was there?” She looks towards Nesta who herself has a confused expression. “Did you know about that?” 

Nesta shakes her head. “I don’t think Cassian does either. He told me that he wouldn’t come back until after the new year.” 

Both Feyre and Nesta get up leaving me alone on the floor. “We’re going to tell Rhys and Cassian. You could, um, stay here and rest if you want or come down and have dinner with us.” Feyre shoots me a hopeful look but I look down at my gown and Feyre smacks her forehead. “Oh God, I almost forgot. There’s clothes for you in our old room. The one on the second floor. There’s some for him as well.” She says as she points towards Daemon. 

I nod and move out of the room towards the old guest room the three of us used to occasionally sleep in. It hasn’t changed a bit. The entire cabin, actually. Except for a few modifications here and there, everything is just the way it was. 

I open the wardrobe and it is filled with all types of clothes. There’s also a small section in the corner which contains clothes for Daemon, though they're not as many as mine. 

I just pull out a simple pair of shorts and a tank top and walk towards the bathroom. Inside, there is a collection of rose scented body wash and shampoo, the exact kind I used when I was in high school. 

I quickly take a shower and trodge downstairs. Feyre and Rhys are both sitting on the sofa watching a movie together. “Where’s my phone?” I ask loudly. 

Both of them look at me warily. I turn around and glare at Nesta and Cassian who are standing in the foyer. “Where is my fucking phone?” 

“I have it.” A familiar voice says from behind. I turn around and look at him. He’s changed into normal sweatpants and a black t-shirt which clings to his perfect body.

Ugh. Stop it.

“Give me my phone. I need to tell Graysen I’m fine.” Azriel smirked and it was one the most beautiful things I’d ever seen in a long time. 

No. No. No. 

“You’re not getting your phone back.” He replies. What the hell?

“Elain,” Feyre starts from behind me, “Technically, you’ve been kidnapped.” 

Oh hell no. “What do you fucking mean that I’ve been ‘kidnapped’?” 

Rhys stands up from his seat. “Graysen’s been doing some really bad shit and we’ve warned him about it. He never listened.”

“So you fucking kidnapped me and my son?!” 

Cassian starts laughing. I turn towards him and give him a murderous look. “What the fuck is so funny?”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Nothing, just that I never thought I’d see Elain Archeron using the word fuck and you’ve already used it like four times in the past minute.” I drop my murderous glare. 

“Do you really think that I’m the same happy-go-lucky Elain Archeron you all knew seven years ago?” I ask incredulously. 

“No.” Azriel says. I turn and look at him and he’s looking directly at me too. Our eyes meet and I can see the anger burning through them. 

He has a right to be angry. I hid his child from him. But so do I. He was the one who hurt me. 

I look at all of them once again and then settle my gaze on Azriel. “Fuck off.” I run upstairs and go to the room where Daemon is sleeping. I lay down beside him and close my eyes in hope of waking up and everything would  turn out to just be a dream. 

**~~~~**

I wake up due to the sun rays falling from the open curtains. I had forgotten how intense the sun was at places like this. 

Beside me, Daemon is sitting up on the bed, wearing his clothes from yesterday. He smiles at me and I open my mouth to speak but he instantly shushes me. “Be quiet. Daddy’s sleeping.” I turn to look at where he’s pointing and there he is, sleeping on an armchair. He looks so peaceful and childlike. So much like how Daemon looks. My lips tug up into a smile. 

As if he knows that we’re looking at him, Azriel opens his eyes and I turn my smile into a frown. 

“Good morning Daddy!” Daemon jumps up in happiness. Azriel gives him an uncertain smile. 

“Good morning.” He says uneasily. 

I look at Daemon and point towards the bathroom. “Dae, go and freshen up. I’ll get you your clothes.” 

He pouts but still trods to the bathroom. I turn towards Azriel. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you.” All night, while I was asleep? Definitely not creepy.

“I really don't think I could run away from here.” 

He nods and gets up. “Come down and have breakfast. Your sisters would like it.”

“And you?” I abruptly ask. 

I get this intense urge to smack myself for asking. 

He walks towards the door as he mumbles, “It doesn’t matter what I like.”

**~~~~**

I walk downstairs into the dining room with Daemon holding my hand. Surprisingly, all of his clothes fit him perfectly. And that only creeps me out further. 

As I enter the dining room everyone stops what they’re doing and looks towards us. Or Daemon to be more specific. 

Rhys drops his phone as he says with wide eyes, “Holy shit.”

“I know right?” Cassian mutters from beside him. 

Daemon grips onto my hand a bit tighter. “You’re all much more prettier in real life.” 

Feyre giggles and Rhys and Cassian smile. 

“It’s ‘much prettier’.” Nesta corrects him. 

Daemon smiles sheepishly. “Sorry Auntie Nesta.” Nesta looks shocked and a flash of sadness crosses her eyes. She clears her throat as she asks, “What would you like…?” 

“Daemon Knight.” He says proudly and they all look at me except for Azriel who’s standing in the corner. 

“Okay Daemon. What would you like to have for breakfast?” Nesta asks, trying to act unfazed. 

“I’ll have whatever you’ve made. It smells really good.” Rhys and Cassian stiffen and Nesta smiles down at him.

“I’ve made scrambled eggs with bacon. Why don’t you take a plate and go watch some cartoons?” She hands him a plate and he nods enthusiastically. He walks out of the room then looks back at me. 

“Just go straight ahead, you’ll find the TV. It’s already on.” Rhys tells him a smile. 

Daemon grins back widely at him. “Thank you Uncle Rhys!” And he moves out of the room. I go and sit between Feyre and Cassian. Azriel comes and sits opposite to me and Nesta takes her seat beside Feyre. 

I serve myself some food and I start eating. The others discuss random stuff and how Cassian and Nesta’s daughter is turning three the next weekend. Then somehow, the topic comes to Daemon. 

“When is Daemon’s birthday?” Feyre asks. 

“28th December.” I reply nonchalantly. And then suddenly I realise what happened. I look towards Azriel who is looking back at me. I know what he’s wondering. How his birthday is the same as Daemon’s. 

An uncomfortable silence ensues. 

“How does he know about us?” Nesta asks 

“I have some albums.” Is all I say as I play with the food on my plate.

“So Elain,” Rhys starts, “When did you find out that you were pregnant?”

I swallow the eggs. “I didn’t.” 

Everything becomes silent. I look up and they’re all looking at me as if I’ve lost my mind. I take a sip of water to wash down the eggs. “I mean, I had a cryptic pregnancy.” They’re expressions don’t change. “It’s a condition where a person doesn’t realise that they’re pregnant. No symptoms or anything. I figured out directly when I went into labour.” 

Suddenly the entire atmosphere of the room tenses. Cassian looks down into his plate while Nesta shoots me a worried look. Both Rhys and Feyre share a look. Azriel is just blank. He doesn’t say anything. I don’t think he’s even breathing. He’s just looking intensely at one spot on the dining table. 

Then, he abruptly stands up. “I’ll just be out front.” And without another word he storms out of the dining hall. 

I slump a bit in my seat and continue eating, ignoring all the sad looks I get from the others. 

**\------------------------**

#  **Azriel**

I turn back and look towards the kid who has started waking up. I try to smile at him as I announce, “We’re here.”

He looks at me sleepily and then closes his eyes again. Of course he’s tired. He’s a kid. 

I get out of the car and open the back door. Without a word, I pick the kid up and sling him over my shoulder. He’s lighter than what I had expected. I move into the house quietly and take him upstairs before anyone can see me. The first place I can think of is my room. I enter it and lay him down on the bed. I remove his shoes, jacket and tie, unbuttoning the first two buttons, along with removing his belt, so he doesn’t feel suffocated at night. 

As he’s lying, I look at his face clearly. He truly does look like me. And his first instinct when he saw me was to run to me, calling me daddy. I had never expected a kid would call me daddy. 

I cover him with the comforter and walk downstairs. 

I hear Rhys’ voice from the foyer and I walk towards it. There I see Elain squished between Cassian and Rhys who are both trying really hard not to cry, while Elain is sniffling. 

I wish I could go and hug her too. Hold her forever and never let her go. But I can’t. 

I clear my throat and grab everyone’s attention. I motion my head towards the back, silently asking Rhys to follow me. I start walking out but then I remember that Elain doesn’t know where the kid is. I turn around and look at her directly. She meets my eyes and for a moment I’m lost in her eyes. “First floor, fourth room to the left.” She nods and then I leave, both Rhys and Cassian at my trail. 

I lead them out to back where there’s a porch, with a railing and wooden stairs leading to the snowy field. 

“Az, I can explain.” Rhys starts as I take a cigarette out and light it, placing it between my lips.

“No, you can’t.” I tell him as I exhale. Cassian angles himself between us so that he can prevent us from jumping to each other's throats. And I’m not gonna lie, I am extremely tempted to do that. 

“Az, I didn’t do anything.” Rhys says slowly.

“You lied.” I simply say.

“Az, stop overreacting. It’s nothing, okay. You were told before accepting that you had to kidnap a girl.” Rhys says as he takes the cigarette from me.

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me that the girl is Elain fucking Archeron. The least you could’ve done was give us a heads up about the attack.”

“What attack?” Rhys asks in confusion. 

“There was a firing, and two men were there. Probably sent to kill someone.” I pause and take in his expression. “You really didn’t know.” It’s not a question. 

Cassian sighs. “It was really unexpected man. Ellie could’ve gotten hurt. Her kid - Daemon - could’ve gotten hurt.” Her kid. Daemon.  _ My kid _ .

“Did you know about him?” I ask angrily. 

Rhys looks at me in confusion. “What?”

I release a long breath. “Her kid, Rhys. Did you know about him?” He looks at me apologetically. “I know it must hurt to see her with Graysen’s kid, but-” He really thinks it's Graysen’s? 

I cut him off. “It’s mine.” At that, he widens his eyes. 

“What?” So, he truly didn’t know anything. 

“You should see him. He looks exactly what Az used to look like when he was a kid.” Cassian says. “And he instantly recognised me.” That was true. He knew what we looked like. He even mentioned Rhys and Nesta’s name. 

Rhys takes a long drag from his cigarette and hands it to me. “But she never told anyone. Why didn’t she ever tell anyone?” I accept the cigarette and look towards the snow covered mountains. I lean against the railing as I inhale the smoke and release it. “I don’t know. Yet.” 

**~~~~**

After eating dinner, all us are in the living room, with Rhys and Feyre both watching a movie and Cassian and Nesta just coming back from a walk outside. I just lean against a doorframe, staring at the tv screen even though I have no clue what’s going on. 

There’s continuous vibrating in my pocket where I’ve kept Elain’s phone. I had expected Graysen to be the one calling, but apparently, there wasn’t a single call from him. They were from either Lucien or some person named Mrs. Pumphrey. 

Someone runs down the stairs and I look up to see Elain with wet hair, wearing pink shorts and a matching tank top. I resist the urge to go to her and kiss her senseless. 

“Where’s my phone?” She asks loudly. Aah, this is going to be fun.

She glares at Feyre at Rhys who look at her warily. The she turns her glare towards Nesta and Cassian.“Where is my fucking phone?” 

Did she just say fuck? 

“I have it.” She turns and looks at me up and down, her gaze lingering at my chest. I would smile if she wasn’t looking at me as if she wants to kill me. Which I bet she will.

“Give me my phone. I need to tell Graysen I’m fine.” I smirk at her. How cute. Does she really think I’m gonna give her phone back just so she could talk to that idiot? 

“You’re not getting your phone back.” I tell her.

“Elain,” Feyre speaks from behind her, “Technically, you’ve been kidnapped.” 

And there it is. “What do you fucking mean that I’ve been ‘kidnapped’?” 

Rhys stands up from his seat. “Graysen’s been doing some really bad shit and we’ve warned him about it. He never listened.”

“So you fucking kidnapped me and my son?!” She says in outrage. I don’t know why, but at the mention of her son, I feel my temper rising. Why did she hide him from her family? I get why she would hide him from me. But from Nesta and Feyre?

Cassian starts laughing and she looks towards him. “What the fuck is so funny?”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Nothing, just that I never thought I’d see Elain Archeron using the word fuck and you’ve already used it like four times in the past minute.” 

“Do you really think that I’m the same happy-go-lucky Elain Archeron you all knew seven years ago?” She asks incredulously. 

“No.” I reply coldly. She isn’t the same Elain she was seven years ago. But somehow, I’m still in love with her. And she hates me. 

She looks directly into my eyes and for a moment, I see the old Elain, just for a moment, then she turns and marches up the stairs in anger. 

Feyre releases a sigh. Then she turns towards Rhys and hits him on the shoulder. “Ow! What the hell Feyre?”

She scowls at him. “Why didn’t you tell any of us that Sir is still in Velaris?” 

Rhys looks confused and then turns towards Cassian who himself is confused. “What do you mean? Sir said he was going to a hideout in Illyria.”

“He was there at the ball.” I wonder aloud. They all look at me and then at each other in worry. “Why? What's wrong?” None of them say anything. “Tell me.” I say coldly. 

Rhys closes his eyes and sighs. He then opens them and looks at me apologetically. “He told us to kill Elain as a punishment to Graysen.” 

What? No.  _ Never.  _

“But we won’t do anything to her, okay? She’s our family.” Feyre says. 

I look at all of them, eyes ablaze. “If anyone touches a single strand on Elain’s head or my son, I will not hesitate before slaughtering all of you.” I storm upstairs without listening further. 

I would die before I let anything happen to Elain or Daemon. 

**~~~~**

I shouldn’t be here. I know I shouldn’t be here but I can’t help it. 

I stand at the threshold of my room where both Elain and Daemon are sleeping peacefully. As much as I wish to join them, I can’t. 

I don’t deserve it. 

But instead of leaving, I go and sit on the small armchair kept in the corner. I lean back and look at both of them together. 

How would have things been if I hadn’t forced Elain away? If I just let her stay with me in Velaris? Would we have been a perfect family? Would have I been allowed to sleep with the both of them? Would have I been able to protect them from all this mess?

I know what I did seven years ago was the worst thing possible, but I had to break her heart, no matter how much it hurt my own. 

I couldn’t have crushed her dreams of going to Adriata. I couldn’t be that guy. 

Then I look towards Daemon, who’s holding onto his mother’s hand as if it were a lifeline. He must be around six or seven years old. Elain probably must have had him during her first year of college. How would’ve that worked out for her? Handling a kid as well as college? 

God, I’m a dick for leaving her alone. 

**~~~~**

I wake up with this feeling that someone’s looking at me. I open my eyes and in front of me on the bed, a boy is grinning at me widely and Elain is frowning. 

What the hell? Did I fall asleep here?  _ Shit. _

“Good morning Daddy!” The boy, Daemon jumps up in happiness. I try to smile as I wish him. 

Elain frowns further and sends him off to the bathroom to get ready. 

“What are you doing here?” She asks me.

“Checking on you.” I shrug nonchalantly.

“I really don't think I could run away from here.” She says with narrow eyes. I know you can’t and I really hope you won’t. 

I nod and get up. “Come down and have breakfast. Your sisters would like it.”

As I reach the door, she asks me abruptly, “And you?” 

I want to tell her how much I want her to come down with me and have breakfast. To talk to me. To tell me about my son. But I don’t. Instead I tell her the one thing I’ve told myself since forever. “It doesn’t matter what I like.”

**~~~~**

I go downstairs as soon as I clean myself up. I woke up late and had to borrow Rhys’ clothes because I couldn’t go back into her room. I couldn’t face her. I don’t care if that makes me a coward but it's true. And I hate myself for it. 

As I enter the dining room, everything is set on the table and Nesta and Cassian are preparing breakfast for all of us. Rhys and Feyre are just sitting and talking to themselves. 

“Hey Az.” Cassian says. “What do you want?” 

I wave my hand in the air. “I’ll have whatever you’ve made.”

“Okay. Scrambled eggs and bacon it is.” He sets the food containers on the table and he sits on his seat, at the head of the table. I just walk into a corner and check my phone for any updates from my connections. 

I feel more than see Elain walking into the room wearing normal jeans and a cream sweater. Even in plain clothes, she looks better than most. Daemon trudges behind her, holding her hand. 

Rhys drops his phone as he says, “Holy shit.” I understand where he’s coming from. It still amazes me how similar we look. 

He looks at all of us with awe. “You’re all much more prettier in real life.” 

Feyre giggles and Rhys and Cassian smile smugly. Nesta politely corrects him and he smiles sheepishly. “Sorry Auntie Nesta.” 

She clears her throat as she asks, “What would you like…?” 

“Daemon Knight.” He says it so proudly. Even yesterday, he sounded sad when he told me that he used Archeron. It’s almost as if he’s proud of having me as a father. I look down in shame. 

“Okay Daemon. What would you like to have for breakfast?” Nesta asks. 

“I’ll have whatever you’ve made. It smells really good.” Rhys and Cassian stiffen. I squeeze my eyes shut. This is all way too much to process. 

Nesta hands him a plate and sends him outside to watch TV. I go and sit beside Cassian and end up exactly opposite to Elain. 

“So, how’s Tootsie’s birthday preparation going?” Feyre asks Nesta. Tootsie is Cassian and Nesta’s two year old daughter whose birthday is next week. And so far as much as Cassian has told me, their preparation was not going good. 

“Ugh, she’s a mini Cassian. What do you expect?” Nesta claims and Cassian gasps as he puts a hand over his hurt, giving a hurt expression. 

“Nes, you cannot say something like that about my angelic daughter.” Nesta just rolls her eyes. 

“When is Daemon’s birthday?” Feyre asks. I don't even know his birthday. 

She speaks in between her bites. “28th December.” I instantly look up at her. This has got to be some kind of joke. She looks up at me in realisation. 

She was probably giving birth while I was out getting drunk in my sorrow. 

It’s official. I’m the most worthless person in the world. 

“How does he know about us?” Nesta asks her.

She replies while playing with her food. “I have some old albums.” I slightly smile as I imagine Elain showing Daemon a picture of all of us as teenagers.

“So Elain,” Rhys starts, “When did you find out that you were pregnant?”

She swallows her food. “I didn’t.” 

What? I stop eating and look up at her as she takes a sip of water. 

“I mean, I had a cryptic pregnancy.” We all remain quiet. I have no clue what a cryptic pregnancy is, but it doesn’t sound like a good thing. 

“It’s a condition where the person doesn’t realise that they’re pregnant. No symptoms or anything. I figured out directly when I went into labour.” 

Fucking hell. 

I stare at my glass of water, my face devoid of emotions. She was alone and she didn’t even know she was pregnant? How must’ve she felt after everything happened? 

She’s gone through so much just because of me. I can’t ever forgive myself for it. 

I abruptly get up from my seat and mutter some excuse and leave, walking directly outside to the driveway. 

I take a cigarette out and light it. I inhale it deeply just when the door behind me closes. 

“What are you doing out here? It’s really cold.” A little voice says. I whip around, hiding the cigarette behind my back. 

I cough out the smoke as he looks at me with wild eyes. “I was, um, I was thinking.” 

“About what?” Daemon asks. 

I inhale, the cold air filling my lungs. “About a lot of things.” 

He nods and walks towards me. “Come with me. Momma says that fresh air helps. We could go take a walk.” He looks at me uncertainly, “If you’re not busy?” 

I smile at him and grab his hand. “I’m not busy. Come on. I’ll show you one of my favorite places to visit here.”

He starts swinging our hands as we walk ahead towards the woods. I smile down at him and vow to myself that I would never let any harm come his way.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

#  **Azriel**

I’m out on a walk in the woods. With my son. 

The snow from last night had melted so I took him to the small pond near the house and we’ve been here for the past hour. The entire time, he’s been talking about his school and his friends and his favorites.

By now, I’ve learned that his best friend is Jason, he studies in first grade at Velaris Elementary and he loves to talk. 

“Do you know, I have a blue bunny just like the one in your room?” He says. 

It takes me a minute to realise he’s talking about the blue bunny I gave to Elain for her 12th birthday. She had left it along with her letter just before she left. Since then, I had never let go of the bunny. But I clearly remembered mine being in my room back home. Maybe Feyre or Nesta had brought it along with my clothes. Which also reminds me that I need to go back home to get all of my stuff. 

“You really don’t talk much, do you?” He wonders. I look towards him and raise an eyebrow, to which he gives me a toothy smile. “Uncle Lu says that the only way I’m similar to momma is the way I love to speak. Otherwise, I am exactly like you.” Then he frowns. “But my friends never believed me.” 

“Why?” I ask. 

“Because you never came to any career day or programme or anything.” He says glumly. “They teased me saying that you weren’t real.” He throws a stone into the pond. “Momma says to ignore them because they’re bullies.” 

I can’t believe my son was bullied because of me and there was nothing I could’ve done about it. He looks up from the lake. “Did you ever get bullied? When you were a kid?” 

I give him a sad smile. “All the time. But you know who always stood up for me?” He shakes his head. “Your mom. No matter what it was, she would always support me.” He smiles. 

“Momma says that she would help anyone she loves.” I avert my eyes. Yeah, Elain would do anything for those whom she loves. But I’m no longer that person.

I get up and dust my jeans. “Come on, let's go back. Your mom would be wondering where we are.” I give him my hand and pull him up. “Thank you daddy!” He runs ahead and I follow, wondering how I ever managed to get such a wonderful child.

**~~~~**

We reached the house just as Cassian and Nesta were getting into their car. Daemon ran towards them and hugged Cassian. Both of them smile at each other and discuss something which makes Daemon laugh. Near the doorway, Elain’s standing beside Feyre with a coffee mug in her hand. She’s smiling as she watches the scene unfold in front of her. 

Cassian lifts Daemon up and shakes him, which causes Daemon to shriek in laughter. I feel a small smile of my own forming. 

Rhys walks up to me and hands me a mug filled with coffee. I take it and nod in thanks. 

He stands beside me and looks at Cassian playing with Daemon. “Sorry about whatever happened at breakfast.” I just nod. “And not telling you about Elain.” I look at him with a raised eyebrow. He looks at me and rolls his eyes. “What? I’m just apologising.”

“What do I have to do?” I ask, exhaustion evident in my voice. 

“There’s no beating around the bush with you, is there? You need to check on Graysen. Then you need to go and meet up with Vanserra who’ll give you Elain’s stuff. After that, you can go get your stuff.”

I inhale deeply, the smell of coffee filling me. “I’m going to stay with them.”

“Didn’t expect anything else.”

“When should I leave?” I ask as I finish my coffee.

“Now would be preferable. Nesta and Cassian are leaving. Feyre and I can stay for a while, but not that long.”

I agree and go inside the cabin, passing Elain and Feyre in the way. Feyre smiles at me while Elain ignores me looking out towards Daemon and Cassian. 

I sigh and walk inside.

People have often told me that I have a bad habit of thinking the worst about myself. They say it as if it’s something I can fix. But it’s not my fault that whomever I love turns up dead or leaves me. 

Losing my mother, then getting abused by my actual father who ultimately went to jail. Then I moved in with Rhysand’s family who treated me like their own and his mother died. 

And then there was Elain. Luckily she didn’t end up dead, but she very well could. And so could Daemon. 

I won’t allow that, no matter how much it might hurt me. I’ve stayed away from her once, I can do it again. 

**~~~~**

Keeping a check on Graysen is probably one of the most boring things I’ve ever had to do. I’m currently in a hotel room directly opposite to his office where I can look into his office. 

He doesn’t even act as if something’s wrong. He’s gone to his meetings, had lunch with his father, flirted with literally every single female to pass by. 

My phone pings with a message from Lucien telling me to meet him in the hotel parking lot. I pack all of my gear and move downstairs, checking out of the room and towards the parking lot.

Lucien is standing near my car wearing black goggles, playing with a bunch of keys. I slip my own on and move towards him. “Where’s the stuff?” 

He holds the keys out. “At her house.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You were supposed to bring them to me.”

“I think Elain would do a much better job of picking out her stuff than me.” He shrugs. 

I release a sigh and take the keys from him, turning around to leave. “How are they?” He asks.

“Fine.” I start walking away from him.

“And what about you? You okay?” Lucien calls out. I stop and look back at him with narrowed eyes. 

“Not even 24 hours ago, I found out that I have a six-year-old son, who looks exactly like me, with the girl whom I have loved ever since I was 12.” His face is emotionless. “How do you think I am?” 

“Did you ask Elain how she found out about him? How she managed to raise him as well as get a medical degree, becoming one the best in her class?” His face didn’t hold any anger. Only sympathy and understanding.

“Let’s go have some coffee.” He pointed towards the hotel cafe. I nodded and let him lead the way. He went and ordered two coffees while I went and sat down at a table. 

I don’t say anything as he comes and places the coffees on our table. He sits opposite to me and looks at me for a minute. I stare back at him. 

“She didn’t know she was pregnant.” He starts off. 

“I know.” 

He shakes his head. “She didn’t want to think about you on your birthday so she got extremely drunk. Near midnight, she started screaming in her room. I thought she was dying. I took her to the hospital and they told me that she’s in labor. I didn’t even believe it until they let me see him.”

“How didn’t she know?” I wonder.

“It happens. Elain wasn’t in a really good place at that time. She had shifted to a new place with new people, none of her sisters were there with her either. And mainly, she had lost you. That was the one thing that set her back majorly. She didn’t go into depression, or become suicidal or anything. If I wouldn’t have known what had happened, I would’ve thought she was perfectly normal. But she was suffering within. Doctors say that all of that could have made her mentally unprepared for a child, which caused her condition.” 

I lower my head in shame. I did this. Females have nine months of getting used to having a child and even then, most are not prepared. And for Elain, it would’ve been so sudden, I can’t even imagine how it would’ve felt like. 

“But she managed to hold on. The way her eyes teared up when she saw him, held him in her hands, it was one the most magical moments of my life. Since then, Elain got this habit of taking a photo or video of every moment she considers special, so that she can’t have any other special moments stolen from her.” He smiles at me and I remember how he took a photo of Daemon and Cassian at the ball. 

“He likes me.” I state. 

Lucien smirks in return. “He idolizes you. You’re this perfect man in his eyes who can never do anything wrong.” 

At my confused face, he clarifies, “Elain told him stories. None of them were lies, but she did omit a few things.”

“Didn’t he ever ask where I was?” I know I would’ve. 

“She told him that you were away doing a very important job which didn’t allow you to go home to them.”

“And he just accepted it?” 

“He is Elain’s kid as well. He sees the good in everything.” Of course he does.

Lucien looks into his phone and gets up. “I need to leave and I assume you have some other work to do as well.” I nod. “I’ll leave you to it. It was nice talking to you.” I shake his hand and watch him go as I remain sitting on my seat, finishing my coffee. 

**~~~~**

After driving for 15 more minutes, I finally reach my own house, empty and lonely. It’s away from the main city, the nearest house at least a mile away. Rhys and Cassian had expected me to buy a small flat where I could drown myself in my sorrows. Just to spite them, I had bought a huge mansion, with a pool and a fountain. And now, all it does is remind me how lonely and empty I am. 

I trudge inside, the lights turning on automatically. First I go to my study and grab a few books along with my laptop. Then, I go into my room and take a backpack out. I fill my books and laptop into it. I decide to take a few extra pairs of clothes as well. I turn around surveying the room and look at the little bunny lying on my pillows. I smile to myself and pick it up. 

Maybe I can bring it along for Daemon. He did mention having a bunny just like this. 

Which was at the cabin. 

But how is that possible if mine is here in my house and no one’s gone to Elain’s house? Unless -

Someone planted it there. 

Fuck. 

I drop everything and rush out of the house, heading straight for my car. As soon as I get the car on, I speed in the direction of the cabin where Elain and Daemon are. 

I try calling Elain but then I remember that I have her phone. I dial the cabin phone, but no one picks up. I dial Rhys and Feyre, but both of theirs directly go to voicemail. 

Shit. 

I speed past all the other vehicles, ignoring all the honking, with only one goal in mind, to reach Elain and Daemon on time. 

Who could have known about the blue bunny? And more importantly, how did they manage to hide in the cabin without anyone knowing about it. The cabin is one of the places we use as hideouts, which no one knows about. 

What would they want from Elain or Daemon? The blue bunny could be anything, a camera, a voice recorder, a bomb. 

I’m only 3 miles away from them. Hopefully Rhys and Feyre haven’t left. 

Finally, the cabin comes to my view. I look at the driveway and can’t see Feyre and Rhys' car. 

Damn it, they’re alone. 

I get out of my car and run upstairs to find Daemon and Elain sitting on the bed laughing about something, the blue bunny kept to the side. I rush towards it ignoring the both of them. 

As I pick up the bunny, I notice the differences in this one from the one I have. It also feels heavier than any normal soft toy. 

I tear it open, cotton falling everywhere. “Azriel, what are you doing?” Elain asks from behind me. I pay close attention to the bunny. As I finally get rid of all the cotton, I uncover a small bomb. 

A bomb.

Elain gasps from behind me. “Holy shit.” 

Holy shit indeed. “Take Daemon and go to my car,  _ now. _ ” I say fiercely as I search for a way to turn it off. 

There isn’t one. 

I look at the timer and it’s only an hour away from exploding. Damn it. There’s no way someone could come and diffuse the bomb. I need to get rid of it.

I run downstairs and outside. Elain and Daemon are both seated in my car and she looks at me with eyes wide in fear. I run towards the woods as fast as I can, getting myself and the bomb far away from both of them. 

I don’t know how long I run until I reach an area far away from them. I throw it as far as I can, knowing that no one else lives nearby and won’t get harmed. 

I don’t wait to watch it explode. 

I run back to the cabin where both Elain and Daemon are waiting for me. I get into my car and instantly drive them away from the cabin. Away from harm. 

**\---------------------**

#  **Elain**

After the very eventful breakfast, I decide to go and watch TV. After all, there’s not much to do when trapped in the middle of nowhere and even better than, when you’ve been kidnapped. I sit there for a while when Nesta comes and sits beside me. 

“I feel betrayed.” She stated.

“Oh, I wonder why.” I continue looking at the show going on, some comedy about a group of detectives.

“You never hide anything from me.” Accusation fills her voice. I take a cushion and place it on my lap.

“Yeah, well there’s a first time for everything.” I turn to look at her. “Like, I don’t know, kidnapping your sister and keeping her hostage for no reason whatsoever?” I shrug and turn back towards the show. 

“Elain, it’s not like that.” Nesta reasons. 

I completely turn towards her. “Then what is it like? Please tell me. I’m dying to know.”

“And I’m dying to know why you never told any of us about your son!” She screams. 

I don’t answer. I just turn back towards the TV with my hands crossed across my chest. 

“Nes, it’s time to - hey! My favorite show!” Cassian walks into the room. 

Nesta gets up. “Cassian let’s go.” 

He pouts at Nesta. “But my show…” She drags him out. “No.”

Feyre walks in from behind him. I raise an eyebrow at her. “Let me guess, you were listening?”

She shrugs unapologetically. “How do you expect me not to? Come on, let's drink coffee and gossip like old times.” I smile and get up, forgetting all about my outburst on Nesta. 

She hands me a coffee mug and drags me to the outside porch where Cassian and Nesta are getting ready to get into their car. 

From the side, Daemon comes out running, wearing a jacket and gloves. Behind him, Azriel follows slowly. He stops as Daemon runs towards Cassian who hugs Daemon and makes him laugh. 

Both Feyre and I smile as we watch them interacting. I watch Rhys go towards Azriel and talk about something. With the way his face is, it’s probably about something serious, but then again, when does he not have a serious face?

“I wonder how things would’ve been if you would’ve told us about Daemon” Feyre says as she looks towards Cassian and Dae. 

“I had my reasons Feyre.” 

“I realise that,” She looks at me with soft, understanding eyes. “And I am not judging you. But he deserved to know.” 

“Both of us deserved a lot of things.” I reply. Suddenly he starts walking towards us and initially, I think it’s to come talk to me. Then I realise it’s probably to go back inside. He passes by and I ignore him, looking forward. 

Yeah, I know, I’m an idiot. 

**~~~~**

After Cassian and Nesta left, Azriel soon followed, leaving only me, Daemon, Feyre and Rhysand at the cabin. I am reading a book and both Feyre and Daemon are seated on the library floor, painting on plain sheets of paper. 

“Momma,” I look down at Daemon, who’s pouting. “How long will we stay here?” 

I smile at him. “I don’t know sweety, ask Auntie Feyre, she’ll probably know.”

He turns towards Feyre who’s looking at me with narrowed eyes. I shrug and continue reading my book. “Daemon, have you seen the game room downstairs?” Feyre asks. Daemon shakes his head and Feyre stands up, wiping her hands on her pants. “Come on, I’ll show you. We have tons of games.” She takes Daemon out of the room and sticks her tongue at me. I reply similarly. 

I look around for my phone when I remember that Azriel has it. Groaning and muttering curses under my breath, I walk downstairs to where the TV is. I plop down on the couch and turn the news on. 

There’s discussion regarding yesterday night’s ball and how there was an attack. Then they show Graysen in his office room, having a clearly fake, worried expression on his face. 

Rhys comes into the room and stands behind me, his hands resting just behind my head. “Turn up the volume.”

I do as he says and Graysen’s voice comes through. “I don’t know why they’re doing this. My fiancée had ties with the Knight gang and now she’s gone as well. The attack was definitely orchestrated by them.” 

The fuck?

“I honestly cannot see what the hell you saw in him.” Rhys says as he comes around and sits beside me. 

“Well, neither can I.” I mutter. “Can you at least tell me why I’m being held here?”

Rhys sighs and takes the remote from me, turning the TV off. “Graysen’s company is actually a huge drug cartel. He brings drugs in from other places and spreads them here, in the streets of Velaris.”

“And you can’t have that? Threatens your business?”

He gives me a grave look. “Do you really think Az would be a part of any of this if we were involved in drug dealings?” I instantly lower my gaze. Damn it, I hadn’t thought about that. Azriel’s father was a drug addict who had killed his mom as well as caused the scars on his hands when he was only 9 years old.

“It’s dangerous because it’s ruining our city. They mainly target the kids with this stuff.” 

“Why would he do something that awful?” He isn’t a nice person, but that doesn’t mean he’s into drug trafficking. 

“That’s not all Ellie. He has a huge prostitution ring going on. He hides it with his greater investments and with the perfect neurologist fiancée who helps people.” I look at the dark screen in front of me and take in deep breaths. This can’t be true. Graysen’s not that kind of man, is he?

“Okay, so even if you are correct, how does it involve me?” 

“We kidnap you, torture you and force Graysen to stop.” 

I widen my eyes in fear. “You- you’re going to torture me?”

A loud sound of Feyre and Daemon laughing comes from the hallways. Suddenly Daemon shows up at the entrance, his cheeks flushed with a bright smile on his face. “Momma, Auntie Feyre’s a dinosaur and she’s going to eat me!” A roar voice comes from behind and he runs away, shrieking. 

Rhys looks towards me with a smirk. “Yes, we are torturing you to death.”

I roll my eyes and slightly punch him on the shoulder. He gasps. “Oh no! You’ve hurt me! Someone help me, I’m being tortured!” I laugh at him and he starts laughing as well. 

“I missed that laugh.” He says as we quiet down. “We all did.” But I know he’s not talking about everyone.

“I missed him too.” I mutter softly. 

**~~~~**

Feyre and Rhys leave as soon as the sun sets, promising to return the next day. Azriel has still not returned from wherever he went. 

I was surprised when Rhys told me that he’d be coming back. I had expected him to hate me and not want to ever see me again, considering I hid his child from him. 

Daemon and I are sitting in Azriel’s room talking about our day and laughing when suddenly Azriel barges into the room. He beelines towards the bunny kept on the arm chair. 

He picks it up and looks at it for a moment before he starts tearing open the bunny. 

“Momma, what is daddy doing?” Daemon asks me softly. I shrug and turn towards Azriel. 

“Azriel, what are you doing?” He removes all the cotton and uncovers a small bomb inside which causes me to gasp. “Holy shit.”

“Take Daemon and go to my car,  _ now. _ ” He says fiercely. I instantly take Daemon’s hand and drag him downstairs and out of the house where Azriel’s car is. It’s left open with the key in its place. 

Azriel comes down and runs into the woods, with the bomb in his hand.

I could take his car and leave. But I won’t. There was a fucking bomb in the room my son and I were in. Who knows what else horrors are waiting for us. 

“Momma?” I look down at Daemon and realise that he’s not wearing a jacket. “Get inside the car, daddy’s coming, okay.”

He bobs his head and sits in the car. I turn towards the woods, waiting for Azriel to come back. He returns after a few minutes and silently gets into the car. 

I sit in the back with Daemon in my lap. “Momma, what’s happening? I’m scared.” He whispers. 

“I don’t know. Just, don’t worry.” I reassure him. 

“Azriel, what just happened?” I ask after a few minutes pass. 

“Shit happened.” He replied curtly as he sped the car, ignoring the others on the road. 

“Azriel, that’s not an answer.”

“I’ll tell you when I get this mess sorted out.” He looks straight ahead and I turn my head towards the window, looking at the cars passing by. 

Azriel scrolls through his contacts and clicks on Cassian’s name. A second later the sound of ringing comes through the car speakers. “Hey Az! Everything good with-”

“Get Rhys and come to my house as soon as possible.” He cuts the call and looks back towards the road.

“Azriel, what’s going on?” He just continues driving in anger Daemon grips my hand tighter. “Azriel tell me what’s going on and where are you taking me!”

He ignores me again. “Azriel Knight! What the fuck is happening! This is the second time in a day that I’ve been driven away to some place I don’t even know where! I deserve to know where you’re taking me and my son.”

“There was a fu-” He looks back at Daemon who has a terrified expression on his face. “There was a bomb in the toy.” He says calmly.

“Yeah, I know! I saw that! Question is, why the hell was it there?” 

He takes a sharp turn causing me to fall over Daemon. “I don’t know.” I can see how frustrated he is that he didn’t know about the bomb. 

“Where are we going?” I ask in a calmer voice.

“My house.” He pulls up on a driveway to a massive stone mansion with a pool out in the front and full length glass windows. It’s such a big house for someone who lives alone. 

Maybe he doesn’t live alone. Who knows, it’s been seven years. 

We enter and I’m amazed by the beautiful interior. In classic Azriel fashion, it’s all modern and black. Daemon leans against me. 

“Momma, I’m hungry.” I look towards Azriel who bends down in front of Daemon. 

“Spaghetti sound good?” Daemon nods tiredly. “Okay, I’ll get it delivered. You both can take the first room on the first floor.” He walks towards the kitchen and I drag Daemon upstairs to clean him up.

**~~~~**

Azriel ordered enough spaghetti to feed an army. 

After eating, Daemon instantly fell asleep in his day clothes, considering we have none here. I walk downstairs in hope of finding Azriel. I find him sitting at one of the bar stools at the kitchen island. 

Hearing my footsteps, he turns to look at me. He looks so beautiful, with his dark appearance perfectly matching his dark surrounding. “Um, I don’t have any clothes.”

He nods. “I’ll take you tomorrow. You can wear one of my shirts tonight.” He turns away and looks down at the table. I near him and realise that he’s playing with a blade kept on the table. 

I go into the kitchen and take a plate out. “So, you live here all alone?” I ask as I serve spaghetti on the plate.

“Yeah. There’s not much to do.” He replies. 

“And, if I were to, um, go around the house, would I find any female clothes left behind?” I ask, not so subtly.

“If you’re asking me if I’ve fucked other women, then yes, I have.” I close my eyes. Of course he has. “But none of them have ever come back home with me. They didn’t matter.” I whirl around with the plate in my hand. He simply shrugs. “It is what it is.” 

Even though he’s acting indifferent right now, I can see anger festering in his eyes. He’s a ticking bomb. Just like the one we found today. 

I place the plate filled with spaghetti in front of him. He gives me a questioning look. 

“You left before eating breakfast and then didn’t have lunch either. You need to eat.” I shrug.

“I’m fine.” No, you’re not.

I place my hands on my hips. “When was the last time you ate?” 

He avoids eye contact. “I had coffee this evening.”

I pin him with a look. He reluctantly grabs the fork and starts eating. I smile and sit down opposite him. 

“Rhys and Cassian will be here soon.” He says in between bites. 

“Hopefully there aren’t any more bombs in this house.” I mutter. 

Azriel hides a smile behind a glass of water. “If someone entered my house without my authorization, they would be dead as soon as they crossed the doorstep.”

I look at him carefully. “You’re dangerous.” I say softly. 

He nods. “Very.” The fact that he says it so casually makes him seem a hundred times scarier. 

Just then a buzzer rings and Rhys’ voice comes through, asking for entrance. He gets up from his seat and moves to the main door where there’s a small keypad mounted on the wall. He types something in and turns to look at me. “The gate key is 1228. Don’t ever give it to anyone.”

“Your password is your birthday?” Shouldn’t it be something more complex that no one can figure out or something?

He smirks. “No one expects it. Cassian and Rhys have gone crazy trying to figure it out.” 

There’s a knock on the front door and Azriel opens it, revealing Rhys and Cassian. “If you only gave us your house key, we would’ve gotten here faster.” Cassian gives him a sour look. 

“We weren’t in a hurry.” He replies. 

“Cassian knock it off.” Rhys interjects and moves towards the couch. Both of them sit down while Azriel continues standing. 

“So,” Cassian starts. “I’m guessing something’s wrong.”

I snort. “Yes. Thank you for stating the obvious.” 

Both Cassian and Rhys send amused looks towards me. “Where’s Daemon?” 

“He’s sleeping.” Azriel replies in a cold voice. He looks at Rhys. “You’re getting sloppy.” 

Rhys furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Azriel. It’s not his fault.” Cassian starts

“I’m not even talking about that. There was a bomb in the house.” Azriel accused. 

“A what?!” Both Cassian and Rhys exclaimed.

“It was in a blue bunny in Azriel’s room.” I tell them.

Rhys looks at me, “The same one that you…?” I nod but Azriel replies with, “No, it was different.”

“How did someone place it there?” Rhys wonders aloud. 

Azriel keeps a stone cold face. “You tell me.”

Cassian shrugged. “Guess it’s not much of a secret hideout now?”

“Cassian, it was set to explode an hour after I found it. What if I had not reached them on time? And it was in my room for God’s sake.” Azriel claimed. 

Rhys stands up from his seat. “Keep them here. It’s well away from the main city and no one can find it, even with the help of directions.” 

Azriel crosses his arms. “And you’re not going to say anything about the bomb?”

“Az, how was I supposed to know that someone would place a bomb?” 

Azriel pointed a finger towards him accusingly. “You were supposed to ensure everything was safe. You fucked up Rhys. Admit it.”

Rhysand raises his hands in surrender. “I get it, I’ll do better next time.”

“There shouldn’t be a next time.” He stated.

“Okay, but don’t do anything that’ll screw things up.”

He scoffs at Rhys. “Interesting. What would’ve you done if it was Feyre, huh?” Then he turns towards Cassian. “Or Nesta and Tootsie?” 

“Az, you’re-”

“You would tear apart the entire world. You’ve even done that.” 

Rhys sighs. “Az, you can do whatever you want. Just not at the moment. I’m just telling you to stand by for-”

“Don’t you fucking dare expect me to stand by when someone tries to hurt my son and my El!” Azriel shouts. 

Instantly, everything becomes dead quiet. Both of them are looking at Azriel in shock. 

I’m looking at Azriel in shock. 

I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard him shout in anger. 

And he called me  _ his _ El. 

I try to meet his eyes, but he just walks away, leaving all of us sitting in silence. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

##  **Azriel**

My son. My El. My family. My fault. 

All my fucking fault. If I hadn’t been such an idiot seven years ago, maybe I would’ve kept my family safe from danger and not finding bombs in their toys.

A fucking bomb. 

I don’t even want to think of the possibility that I could’ve been late to reach them. But who would even know that they were going to be kept there? I didn’t even know we were abducting Elain. 

What if it wasn’t for them? What if it was to kill me or someone else? But then again, why would they hide it in a bunny? 

It’s officially too much to handle. I walk into my room and strip down to my boxers, tossing the clothes on the floor. I sit down on my bed and check my phone for any updates and information. 

A knock sound comes from the door and I look up at Elain, standing uneasily, looking down at the floor. “Um, I needed something to change into. And a separate room to sleep in if that’s possible?” 

I get up and hear a sharp intake of breath. I look towards her direction to find her staring at me. More specifically my bare chest. 

I shake my head and remove a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants for her to wear. She blinks rapidly and takes the clothes. “I’ll just put on some clothes and then I’ll show you, okay?” She nods and moves out. 

After I wear my clothes, I walk outside and she’s leaning against the wall beside my door. I move ahead and she follows behind, clutching the clothes tightly in her hand. 

I lead her to the room just opposite to the one in which Daemon is sleeping. She takes a look at the entire room and turns to me. “Doesn’t it ever get lonely here?”

I shrug. “I’ve been lonely for seven years.” She closes her eyes and breathes deeply. “Why do you want a separate room?” 

“He moves a lot in his sleep.” She says meekly and I smirk. 

“Just like you.” I point out. She looks at me with wide eyes.

“I don’t roll around in my sleep!” 

“You used to before. Even more when you were tired.” She blushes and averts her eyes. 

Both of us remain silent for a moment, looking here and there. “Um, I should go.”

“Yeah, okay.” She nods and I start walking backwards.

“Uh, good night.” I lean against the doorframe and try to smile at her. 

“Yup good night.” And she closes the door on my face.

**~~~~**

I get up before my alarm, as usual. It’s just before 5 o’clock. I get up as per my daily routine and go wear my workout clothes. 

Elain would probably stay in bed till 7:30 and Daemon’s a kid so he’ll probably be asleep till late. I trudge to my private gym quietly and start working out. 

For the first time in years, I didn’t have a nightmare about Elain leaving me. Instead, it was of Elain and Daemon in danger and there was nothing I could do about it. I breathe in deeply as I increase the intensity of my workout.

After an hour or so, I take a shower and go downstairs to the kitchen for some breakfast. I pause as I find Daemon already sitting on a seat at the dining table, wearing yesterday’s clothes, his hair messed up. 

“What are you doing?” I ask him slowly as I reach my kitchen. 

“Waiting for breakfast. I’m hungry.” He says obediently. Why is he even up this early? It’s barely 6:30. Don’t kids sleep late at night and wake up late?

“Um, okay. Uh, what would you like?” I ask him as I turn around and rummage through my fridge. 

“Whatever you can make. But pancakes would be good.” I smile and take out a jug of milk and maple syrup from the fridge. 

“I can only make plain ones, with simple maple syrup.” I tell him. 

He shrugs. “That’s okay.” I put the pan on the stove and start making pancakes. It feels so unusual to make food for someone other than myself. It’s even weirder to have a kid in my house. Even Nesta and Cassian’s kid hasn’t come here. 

“So, did you not sleep properly?” I ask as I start flipping the pancakes. 

“I didn’t notice, actually. It was weird at first, but then it didn’t matter. Why?” 

“Well, you’re up early. So I thought you might’ve had some issues while sleeping.” I place the pancakes on a plate and I pour syrup all over it. I turn around and place it on the kitchen island. He stands beside the barstool and I realise he’s too short to climb on it. I go to him and help him up on the seat.

He happily sits down and starts eating with a fork. “I usually wake up at this time, earlier than momma. She says I get that from my dad.” He pauses and looks up at me. “Sorry, I mean, from you.”

I give him a small smile and turn around to make more pancakes for myself and Elain. I look around for anything to make the pancakes better but don’t find anything, which reminds me to go to the grocery shop today. 

“Um, I’m sorry that I never asked,” Daemon starts speaking softly from behind me, “But, I can call you daddy, right?”

I turn around and look at him, his innocent eyes looking back at me. Dumbstruck, I just nod. Then I add, “You can call me whatever you want. My name is Azriel, but everyone calls me Az.” He looks at me with blinking eyes. “But, um, daddy is fine.” 

It feels like such a foreign word to me. I’ve never called anyone that and no one has ever called me that. Until now. “What time does your mom get up?” I ask him as I set my own plate down opposite to him. 

He shrugs in response. “Usually Uncle Lucien wakes her up or Mrs. Pumphrey. She just ignores her alarm.” I chuckle softly, remembering how Elain hated getting up in the morning even when we were in high school. He looks up at me with bright eyes. “You should wake her up. Momma used to tell me that you had a special way of waking her up.” I look at him with wide eyes. 

“Um, I think we should let your mom sleep for a while. She seemed really tired last night.” I say and he nods solemnly. 

“Then what should we do? It’s a Saturday and I completed all my homework before the ball.” 

I stare at him unblinkingly. What do kids nowadays like to do? Do they still watch cartoon shows? Do they still go out and play? This shouldn’t be so difficult right? “Well, I could show you around the house and see what you would like to do?” 

He smiles enthusiastically and completes his breakfast. As soon as he’s done, he jumps down from his seat and takes his plate to the sink where he rinses it.

He obediently waits for me to finish my breakfast before taking my hand and walking outside the house. “We can start from outside!” He exclaims. I smile at his enthusiasm and take him out to the pool in the front. 

“Ooh! This is so pretty! Can I swim here?” He asks as he moves near the pool edge. I pull him back so he doesn’t fall. 

“You can later, when it’s not that cold. And, um, you don’t have a swimsuit.” He facepalms himself. 

“I’m so stupid. I totally forgot.” He looks up at me shyly. “I actually don’t have any clothes here.” 

“I’ll get them, don’t worry.” He smiles brightly at me. 

I take him into the backyard where there’s a small opening into the woods. “Are wild animals there?” He asks with wide eyes. I shake my head in reply. He lets out a relieved sigh. “Tha’s good, ‘cause Scarlett has a house near the woods and she says that lots of wild animals live there.” He has a look of fear in his eyes as he says, “She also said that her dad fought one of the bears that came out in the backyard.” 

I cover a smile with my hand. I’m guessing this friend of his loves exaggerating. 

“Can you fight a bear?” He asks as we enter the living room. 

I raise my eyebrow in amusement. “I haven’t really tried.” 

His expression deflates. “Have you ever punched someone?”

I hesitate before answering. “Um, once or twice maybe, why?” 

He shook his head and smiled at me. “It’s nothing. I was just wondering.” There’s something in the smile that looks fake. I grab onto his shoulders before he can move into the other room. 

“Is everything okay?” He’s silent for a moment and then answers. 

“I once saw Graysen punch someone really badly.” I furrow my eyebrows. 

“Where did you see that?”

He wrings his hands, looking uncomfortable. “Once, um, Uncle Lu was busy and even Momma was, so I was at Graysen’s office. He did it there.” 

“You were in the room?” He nods slowly, a smile no longer on his face. 

Bloody hell, who the fuck would do that with _a kid_ present in the room? 

I should probably comfort him. But I don’t know how to. And I don’t want to do anything to make things worse. So I just ask him if he wants to watch a movie. Instantly, he grins at me and catches my hand. “But after you show me around.” He says stubbornly and I smile, still amazed by how similar we look. 

I take him into the game room, which Cassian had me install, which has another TV along with an Xbox which I rarely used. In the corner there is a billiards table and a huge couch in the middle. There was also a mini bar. Cassian calls it my bat cave.

Daemon’s eyes widen and he looks at me with awe. “You have an entire room just to play games?” 

I feel the back of my neck heat up and I bring my hand up to it. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“This is so cool.” He says as he wanders around the room. I watch him observe everything for a few moments and then he comes to me, asking me to continue the tour. 

There’s not much left to show him so I take him upstairs where all the rooms are. He finds the one beside mine and asks if it could be his room. 

I look inside, and it’s as plain as the others. I don’t get it, why does he want this one? I agree and he jumps up in happiness. 

Both of us go down and watch some cartoon movie while I message Rhys for any updates regarding the bomb. 

He doesn’t reply. Fine. I can figure things out on my own. 

We continue watching the movie for a while when Elain stomps down the stairs in my clothes and declares, “We need clothes.”

I sigh and rest my head against the back of the couch. Well then, let’s get it over with. 

**~~~~**

I drive up to the house which Elain directs me to. I’m still very sure that she will run away at the first chance, so I keep on checking my GPS privately to ensure we are going in the right direction. 

The house is big and even from the outside, it’s pretty evident that it is Elain’s house. There’s a beautiful garden in front of the house and there’s a small swing in the porch. 

“Are we going home?” Daemon asks from the back seat. There was no one to take care of Daemon back at home so he tagged along with us. 

Elain unbuckled her seat belt and murmured under her breath. “Unfortunately, no.” 

I shoot him a rueful smile. He smiles happily at me and it feels like a punch to my gut. I start feeling sad about not being able to see him smile like that for the first time, or the million times after that. 

This all shocks me. A week ago I never had any intention of having kids, and now I was longing for more time with a kid who is apparently mine. The world truly works in mysterious ways.

I get out of the car and follow Elain and Daemon to the front door. She holds out her hand expectantly but I push past her and start opening the door with the keys Lucien gave me. I open the door and motion for her to enter. Daemon runs inside and Elain just rolls her eyes at me. It irks me and I roughly grab her hand. She looks at me with narrow eyes when I lean in closer to her. “Watch your fucking attitude. You’re not the only one who’s changed, get it?” I say threateningly. 

Her nostrils flare as she jerks her hand away from mine and continues walking. 

“Ugh, _damnit_.” I punch the wall behind me before I go after her. 

**~~~~**

I help Daemon pack his clothes in his small suitcase. Unlike Elain, he is very selective with whatever he put in. In his backpack he fills books and whatever toys he can fit in. He also puts in lots of books that look like photo albums. 

After packing, I take all of his bags from him and take them out to the car. Elain still hasn’t come out so I walk towards the room with the door open. 

She is frantically moving around the room, opening and slamming drawers. Ignoring me, she rushes into the bathroom, checking for something in the cabinets. 

“What are you doing?” 

She pokes her head out of the bathroom and looks at me with narrow eyes. “I don’t need your help.” She says in a cold voice. 

I roll my eyes. “You obviously can’t find something and by the look on your face I can tell that it’s important. Let me help.”

She waits a moment before saying, “Daemon’s inhaler. I looked everywhere and I can’t find it.”

I nod and start towards the part of the room which doesn’t look like a mess. I open a few drawers until I open the one beside her bed in which lies an open box of condoms. Along with a pair of handcuffs. 

Fucking. Hell.

I pause, looking at them with unblinking eyes. The handcuffs look small in size, but they would perfectly fit Elain’s hands. My mind starts imagining how she would look like with handcuffs on. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I instinctively pick the condom box up, just when Elain’s voice comes from much closer. “Found it.” She says with a relieved sigh. I turn around with the box behind my back. 

“Good. Let’s go.” I say hurriedly. 

She gives me a weird look and then rolls her eyes. “All my stuff is in that suitcase and that bag. Bring it out.”

I nod mindlessly and release a breath I didn’t even know I was holding as she walks out of the room. 

I bring the box in front of me and examine it. It seems full. For some reason, I find my mouth turning up into a grin. 

I tuck the box in my back pocket, the bulge hidden by my shirt, and walk out with Elain’s bags. Elain leans against my car with a car seat placed in front of her. She raises an eyebrow at me when she glances at me, obviously wondering why I’m smiling. 

I wordlessly put her bags in the trunk as she places the carseat in the back of the car. Both of us get in the car after Elain straps Daemon to his seat and she keeps on looking at me from the corner of her eyes, while I smile the entire way like an idiot. 

**\-----------------------------------**

##  **Elain**

Azriel Knight might’ve just gone crazy. Maybe all the years he spent around Cassian and Rhys has finally caused some damage to his mental health. 

Or maybe his mind finally processed that he has a child and he snapped? 

The entire time since he came out of my room, he has been grinning like a fool. Azriel doesn’t smile very often, well he didn’t when we were kids. But whenever he did, it was one of the world’s most beautiful things. 

However, at the moment, it is scaring the shit out of me. 

It literally feels like Pennywise is sitting beside me. The only thing he needs is face paint and a weird fucking outfit.

I look behind and even Daemon is giving Azriel a weird look. I badly want to say something but I refrain from it, remembering his threat about my attitude. I know I shouldn’t give a fuck about what he wants, but I really don’t want to piss him off in front of Daemon. And he’s already looking scary enough as it is.

Azriel turns the car and stops in front of a grocery store. “Um, what are we doing here?” 

His smile finally drops as he turns to look at me. Well, not exactly me, but whatever is behind me. I snap my fingers near his face. “Hey! I asked you something.” He snaps his eyes to me, then lowers his gaze and then instantly averts them. Why can’t he look at me?

“Um, I needed to buy some stuff, so, I, um, need to go buy them.” 

_The fuck?_ What is that even supposed to mean?

“You do realise that you made no sense at all?” I ask with raised eyebrows. 

He slightly shakes his head. “Hell. I need to go grocery shopping.” He says, a bit breathless. 

“Don’t you have someone to do that for you?” 

“No.” He gets up from the car and leaves. I look at him, perplexed with his behaviour. 

“Why was daddy smiling so much?” Daemon whispers from the back. I turn around and give him a shrug, a small frown on my face.

I slump in my chair and exhale a heavy breath. Then it strikes me that I’m alone in the car, without Azriel. I can easily run away. I try opening my door, but it won’t budge. Alarm ripples through me. 

Why can’t I open this door? I start banging my fist on the window and pushing the door open, but it’s of no use. 

I’m stuck.

After an hour Azriel walks towards the car with a bunch of grocery bags in his hand. He easily opens the back door and places the bags on the seat beside Daemon who has already fallen asleep.

He walks ahead and slides into his seat easily. “Who kicked your puppy?” 

I scowl at him. “You locked me inside.” 

“It’s called child lock, love.” He teases and my breath catches. 

_Love_. He called me love. 

I narrow my eyes at him. “Why are you being so nice to me?” 

He turns and looks at me and his eyes are slightly glazed. Then it hits me. He’s drunk. “Because, I’m too damn tired of being mad at you.” He starts the car and drives out of the empty parking lot. 

“You’re drunk.”

He glances at me. “Stating the obvious now?” I don’t reply. “I have a few for you. That’s my son.” He points at the back. “You never told anyone about him, God knows why. Oh, and you’re engaged to the one person I consider worse than me.”

“It’s funny that you think I’ll include you in my life even after you cheated on me.” That instantly changes the atmosphere of the car. He sets his jaw and his fists tighten on the wheel. I turn my head away from him and look out of the window.

**~~~~**

It’s been two days and Azriel has been avoiding me like the plague. I should’ve considered it a good thing. But it isn’t. It makes me feel as if it was my fault all those years ago. As if _I’m_ the one who had cheated.

I’ve spent the entire time wasting away. I still haven’t been given access to a laptop or my phone. Luckily, Daemon has been enjoying himself. 

He still thinks Azriel is perfect, even though Azriel has barely been in the house. But then again, he thought he was perfect even when he had never seen Azriel. 

I’m on the couch, with Daemon, when there’s a buzz coming from the foyer. Then, a cold voice comes through, “It’s freezing. Open the door if you value your life.” 

I instantly hurry to the door, typing in the passcode and less than a minute later, Nesta and Feyre storm through the front door. Nesta scowls at me and dumps a huge suitcase in front of her. “Clothes for you.” She bites out. Feyre steps up from behind her with a comparatively smaller suitcase in hand. “And for Daemon.” Feyre says with a smile. 

I turn away from them but someone grasps my hand. I turn and find Nesta glaring at me. “Not even going to thank us?”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Give me a reason to thank you and I will.” 

Feyre visibly tenses and inhales slowly. “Hey, Daemon? Let’s go to the game room, kay?” Feyre strides towards Daemon and drags him out of the room, leaving me and Nesta alone, fuming at each other. 

“Nesta let me go.” I say in a low voice.

“Just like you let everyone else go, seven years back?” She retorts and causes me to flinch. 

“You don’t get to say anything about that.” 

Nesta scoffs and drops my arm. “Of course I don’t, you’re all grown up now, aren’t you? With a kid and everything.” 

“I needed to leave. I couldn’t stay here anymore.” I say, my voice shaking slightly.

She simply raises a perfectly groomed eyebrow at me. “Oh, and why is that?”

“Because he cheated. He didn’t want me anymore.” I say as my voice thickens, due to my unshed tears.

“And he said those exact words to you?” She asks, unaffected by what I told her. 

“You knew didn’t you?” I narrow my eyes at her, somewhat shocked by her betrayal. 

“Do you really think I wouldn’t have been able to force it out of him?” She asks simply while I feel my temper rising. 

She’s my sister. Shouldn’t she hate Azriel for cheating on me? Why is she supporting him?

She sighs. “Look, I don’t care whatever the hell you think about me. You should know damn well that there’s always two sides to a story. And if you didn’t have your head so far up your ass, you would’ve seen that he clearly loves you.” I look at her in shock as she continues spewing venom at me. “Not everything in the world is about you Elain. You’ve gone through some tough shit in your life. So has he. Talk. It. Out.” She turns around and moves towards the front door. “And tell Feyre that if she isn’t in the car in five minutes, I’m leaving without her.” And with that she slams the door, and I crumble to the floor, unsure of what to make of her words. 

**~~~~**

I’m awoken by a familiar presence which makes me feel that maybe the past week has truly been a dream. But when I open my eyes, I’m once again in the foreign black bedroom that screams Azriel. 

Wait. If I’m still with Azriel, then how is Lucien here? 

He smiles down at me. “Good morning Ellie.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

He sits beside me on the bed. “Well, I got here by my car and Az sent me the address. I have to say, it was not easy finding the place. And I’m here to check up on you.” 

“No,” I say. “You’re not supposed to be here. How?” Then I remember his words from just before the ball. ‘ _whatever I do, it is for your happiness’_ He gives me a thoughtful look. “You knew?” I whisper. 

“Ellie, it wasn’t safe for you-”

“Don’t. First of all, you were in contact with them, _my family_ , and never told me about it. Second of all, you knew about Graysen’s illegal activity and yet, you didn’t tell me.”

“That’s because you didn’t want to know about any of it. Whenever I told you anything about Graysen, you denied it. Hell, Daemon knows more about his true self than you.”

I cross my hands over my chest stubbornly. “Where’s Azriel?” 

Lucien gives me a look of surprise. “Why do you care?” I glare at him. “Fine, he’s gone out on some official business.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Is that code word for he’s gone to murder someone?”

Lucien shakes his head as he smiles. “Do you really think that’s all someone does in a gang? Bim-bam-boom, death?”

I ignore his taunt and get up, leaving him behind in the room. I walk downstairs where Daemon is seated, eating pancakes with chocolate syrup. 

The pancakes are the only indication that Azriel actually came home. For the past week, I have barely had any encounters with him. He’s gone before I wake up and back when I’m asleep. 

It’s honestly frustrating. 

After Nesta’s ‘ _Lecture_ ’ I decided to sit down and have a proper discussion with him, like the mature adults we are. 

Who are we kidding? We’re not adults. We’re avoiding each other like 14 year olds.

“You haven’t told me why you’re actually here.” I point out as Lucien follows me down. “And why I didn’t hear your arrival.”

Lucien sighs as he puts his hands in his front pocket. “You didn’t hear anything, because every single room in this house is soundproof.” Ugh, great. “And I really am here for you and Daemon. I’m here for the weekend, actually.” I shoot him a confused look. “Azriel offered. Said you need a friend, cause it gets lonely.” He shrugs and walks towards Daemon. 

Did Azriel really bring Lucien here for me? Just like that, I’ve made up my mind. I will find a way to talk to Azriel, no matter what.

**~~~~**

I look at my phone for the hundredth time, checking the time. It’s 2am and there’s still no sign of Azriel. I’m pretty sure I’m on my third cup of coffee. I have been sitting at the dining table since dinner, waiting for Azriel to come back home so we could finally talk about everything that happened between us. But luck wasn’t on my side. After another ten minutes, when it’s clear that Azriel won’t be coming home tonight, I get up from my seat, taking my cup to the kitchen. 

Lucien is asleep upstairs in one of the spare rooms as well as Daemon. Unfortunately after all the caffeine I ingested, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. 

So, like any normal human being, I watch a Tom Cruise movie. 

In the middle of the movie, just when there’s a huge gunfight going on, I hear a slamming noise. I wave it off, thinking it’s from the movie, when suddenly it happens again. This time, I pause the movie and look towards the door, where the noise is coming from. 

I get up and go towards the door, hoping it’s Azriel. However, as soon as I open the door, a heavy body falls on top of me, causing me to stumble. Without even looking at the face, I know who it is. 

I place my hand on his shoulders to help him up, when he suddenly lets out a groan. I look down at where my hands are and that’s when I realise that my hand is wet. With blood. 

I look at him in horror. 

Azriel has been shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry for the late update. Second, ‘One Last Time’ will be having 15 chapters + epilogue. Would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter!


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Hope you all enjoy!

##  **Azriel**

It’s been an entire week since the day she called me out. 

I cheated. Of course she believes that I cheated. It’s what I wanted anyway. 

In the entire week, I have been avoiding her. Leaving before she wakes up and getting home late in the night. I do have breakfast with Daemon though. 

It still feels surreal, having a son. He asks about my childhood, mostly about stuff related to Elain. He also enjoys listening to stories that involve me, Rhys and Cassian. 

And then this morning, he said that he wished he had a sibling. 

That was when I realised that according to Daemon, everything was okay between me and Elain. He didn’t know that she hates me. He didn’t even know that we were avoiding each other. 

He probably thinks we’re the perfect, happy family. 

_Shit._

He acted normally after that, continuing to eat his chocolate chip pancakes as if he had asked about the weather. 

But none of that mattered. There is no happiness in my future. And I’ve come to terms with that. A long time ago. 

At the moment, I’m in my car driving towards the place where I’ll most likely find the people who attacked the ball. 

Without Rhys’ help, I managed to hack into the iphones I had found on the dead bodies. There wasn’t much on either of the phones, but there was an address sent from the same number to both. I hadn’t been able to track the number yet, but it won’t be long before I do. 

My phone rings and I pick it up without looking at it. “What?” 

“Hello to you too Az.” Nesta’s cool voice comes through the speakers. 

I roll my eyes. “Is this a reminder for Sunday? Cause that’s 3 days away and yes, I will just get her a gift card.”

“No Azhole.” Nesta snaps and I smile at the use of her name for me. “I want you to bring Elain and Daemon.” I instantly stop the car causing me to jerk forward and a lot of horns from the cars behind. 

“Elain and Daemon? You want _me_ \- the guy she wants to _kill_ \- to tell her that I’m taking her to a birthday party when she’s supposed to be kidnapped?” I let out a laugh as I once again start driving my car. “Nesta, with all due respect, that is the worst idea you’ve ever had, and that’s saying a lot, considering you’re married to Cassian. Shouldn’t _you_ be the one to invite her?” 

“I can’t. I fought with her a few days ago.” Nesta says with a sigh. Perfect. One more person pissing off our dear princess Elain. 

I run a hand through my hair, releasing an aggravated sigh as I consider her request. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

“Good.” I thought she had disconnected but suddenly her voice comes through the speakers, soft and timid. “And Az, maybe you should talk to her. About that night.” I don’t answer and eventually the click sound comes indicating that she cut the line. 

I huff out a breath as I consider her last sentence. 

Maybe I should finally tell Elain the truth about seven years ago. 

**~~~~~**

After an entire hour’s worth of driving, I finally reach some really old warehouse near the docks. I try not to roll my eyes at the obvious choice of location. There weren’t any cars nearby and the moon was high up in the sky, stars shining brightly. 

I check my gun and blade once again before getting out of the car. My phone beeps with a message from Lucien. 

_**All good here. Elain wants to talk. Daemon and I will be upstairs.** _

Elain wants to talk. Good. Because so do I.

I close my eyes and promise myself that I will tell Elain everything once I go back home. 

I silently scout the surrounding areas before entering the main building. Weirdly, there were no guards or security. Maybe I was wrong and it’s empty. 

But, as I go in deeper I hear some voices. I instantly duck behind a large stack of containers.

“You promised me that you would give me the girl as well as a kid. Where are they Graysen?” Says a loud male voice. 

Girl and kid? Are they talking about Elain and Daemon? I look at the group of men. There’s Graysen standing with his hands on his heads speaking to the tall man standing in front of him. There are roughly, three more guys in the room with both of them. 

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t know where they are.” Graysen mutters. The other man clicks his tongue. I try to catch a view of the man, but his back is towards me. 

“It really is a pity that people like you have power.” Why does the voice sound familiar? The man is about to turn when suddenly a cat comes and crashes into a pile of bottles in front of me. 

“Hey! Who’s there?” Someone calls out. 

_Damn it._ With no time to think I start off in a sprint, running towards the exit when suddenly there are gunshot sounds. 

I move quickly, trying to cover myself from any bullets with the help of the containers. I take my own gun out and cock it, taking a deep breath right before I straighten and fire shots towards the direction of the voice. 

I hit one man, which gives me time to get out of the warehouse. I dart towards the exit when suddenly, there’s blind hot, searing pain running through my shoulder, causing me to groan. I touch my arm over it and it comes all wet with blood. 

Motherfucking shit. 

I don’t stop before running over to my car. Suspiciously, the gunshots have stopped, almost as if they were retreating. 

I feel my breath getting shallow. Shit, I can’t even go to a hospital. 

I start the car and drive away quickly, the movements causing immense pain to my shoulder. I let out a strangled groan. 

Elain. 

She’s a doctor. She can help. 

I swerve my car on the highway, ignoring all the signs and signals, heading straight towards home. I drive with one hand, grateful that I didn’t bring my Aston Martin. 

For the first time in my life, I wonder what will happen if I don’t make it. I might not be able to tell Elain the truth about everything. I might not be able to be an actual father to Daemon. 

Fuck, my shoulder hurts so bad. It can’t be a normal bullet. Definitely laced with some shit. 

Ugh, _fuck_. 

I tear a piece of my shirt and tie it around my shoulder with a hand and my teeth, to stop the bleeding. 

I inhale and exhale deeply, each breath more difficult than the previous. 

Fuck, maybe I am going to die. 

Finally, after what feels like an entire decade, I park in my driveway, dragging myself to my door. I can’t raise my hand so I do the most normal thing possible, I bang my head onto the door. 

_Damn,_ that hurt. 

Like the idiot I am, I bang it once again when finally the door opens and stumble into a soft pair of hands. 

I look up at her and groan as she clutches my shoulders, her eyes wide and frantic. 

My personal angel, torturing me to hell. 

**\---------------------------------------**

##  **Elain**

Shit. That is all I can say at the moment. 

This is not something I had ever imagined. _Ever_. 

I somehow drag Azriel’s semiconscious body towards the dining table where I can lay him down and inspect his wound. 

“Fuck.” He lets out with a groan. 

He’s panting heavily as he lies down on the table. “First-aid-kit” He breathes shallowly. “Kitchen.” I run off into the kitchen, opening every drawer and cupboard until I find the first aid kit. Which looks more like a surgical kit. 

I grab the huge briefcase thing along with a bottle of Absolut. 

I reach towards him and unscrew the bottle and set the open case on the chair beside me. I take a swig of the drink before pouring it over his wound. 

He lets out a disgruntled scream which causes me to flinch. 

I take the scalpel in my hand and look at the bullet wound with wide eyes. He grasps my hand and stops it from shaking. 

“I thought you were a doctor.” He breathes out. 

I look at him angrily. “I am a fucking _neurologist_! I don’t have any experience with all this cutting and opening!”

He just closes his eyes and lets go of my hand. “Well, apparently your dream college wasn’t that helpful.” 

I still. “That’s a low blow.” 

He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, and I have a _god damned bullet_ in my chest, so kill me for being fucking pissed at you for leaving me.”

I slam the scalpel down into the table in anger. “You’re really gonna blame me?! I wasn’t the one who cheated with some cheap slut! That was all you!” And then, I stomp my foot. Yup, I really did that. 

“Elain-”

“ _No_. I loved you with everything I had. More than I ever loved anyone in my entire life, only to find you sleeping with some girl whose name you probably wouldn’t even remember 10 years later. I gave birth to your child and it almost killed me in the process! Do you have any idea how much it hurt to look at him and see the face of the boy who literally broke me?” 

“El-”

“Oh and let’s not forget how you crashed my fiancé’s ball and kidnapped me along with my child and have kept me here for an entire week!” 

“El!”

“WHAT!”

I look down and see that his eyes are closed and his mouth is twisted in agony. That’s when I realise that instead of setting the scalpel down, I had stabbed him with it and was pushing it further down, blood gushing out.

“Shit.” _Shit. Shit. Shit_. “Oh my god I’m so sorry.” I grab the wet washcloth and cover it. Luckily, I didn’t hit him anywhere near the bullet and I could use the wound to remove the bullet from his body. 

Even after all these years of trying and failing to hate him, it still hurts to see him in so much pain. I can feel tears forming in my eyes. 

“Azriel, I truly am sorry. Just hold on for a bit longer okay, I’ll get the bullet out.” Don’t let go Az, please don’t. 

I tear his shirt and remove all the scraps from his body. I grab the washcloth and wipe away all the excess blood so I can see the wound properly. It’s weirdly bluish-purple near the skin. 

I widen my eyes as realisation strikes me. Holy shit, the bullet isn’t normal.

I take a small syringe and try to collect all the blood near the bullet so that the poison doesn’t remain. For safe measure, I use the scraps of his shirt and tie them from under his arm to his shoulder, tightly. My mind instantly falls on his toned biceps. Which is covered in blood. I look at the medical kit, but can’t find any proper tools. _Damnit_. 

“Az, I need to do something for me, okay? I need you to bite on these.” I show him a hard plastic ice pack which will hopefully fill his mouth. 

He gives me a bewildered look. Okay, I admit that’s not the best thing, but it was the only thing I could come up with at that moment. 

He considers it for a moment before he nods. Letting out a relieved breath, I place it in his mouth and he bites on it. 

Without wasting any more time, I cut into the wound and he jerks his body, both his hands gripping the table edges tightly. He closes his eyes in pain, his shouts muffled by the ice pack. 

“I’m sorry Az. It’s almost over.” He stiffly nods his head. I realise the ice pack isn’t actually helping him, so I take it out of his mouth and place it near his shoulder. 

As I cut deeper, he grabs the bottle from beside his head and takes a huge gulp from it. Soon, the cut is deep enough and I hesitantly place my fingers inside, trying to take the bullet out. His body jerks as he grunts in pain and he hits his head against the table. 

Finally, I take the bullet out and drop it beside the scalpel. Without cleaning my head, I hurriedly stitch the wound as Az calms down. 

Just before I move back, I hear him whisper, “I never cheated.” And he closes his eyes, falling into unconsciousness. 

And that one sentence is ringing in my mind. 

I can’t let anything happen to him _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no idea if the bullet removing process is proper or not. I know it was a bit short, I’m really sorry and hopefully, the next one will make up for it :)


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Slightly angsty :)  
> Hope you all enjoy!

##  **Azriel**

I wake up with a groan, my left shoulder hurting like hell. I open my eyes and look around. I’m on the couch in the living room and the TV is on with Spongebob Squarepants playing. Daemon’s sitting on the armchair beside the sofa and is engrossed in the cartoon show. I try lifting my arm only to find it wrapped around and already in a sling. 

A sling? Where the hell did that come from? I sit up, ignoring the pain in my shoulder. 

“Good morning.” Daemon says softly, looking at me carefully. I smile at him. “Momma’s with Uncle Lucien. And she left medicines for you.” He points at the center table, which has 3 orange pill bottles along with a water bottle and a note. 

_**Gone out with Lucien, take all of the medicine and keep your ass on the couch** _

I smother a laugh and take my phone out. There’s tons of messages and missed calls from Rhys and Cassian all ranging from ‘ _where the hell are you_ ’ to ‘ _you’re a fucking idiot_ ’. 

I guess Elain told them about my accident. Just great. My phone buzzes again and this time, it’s a call from Feyre. I groan and turn my phone off, knowing that all those mother hens are not going to leave me alone.

I look at Daemon who’s still engrossed in the tv. Should a kid watch that much tv? Maybe not. And I do have time to kill, so…

“Hey Daemon, um, want to play a game?” I ask unsteadily. He looks at me, his eyes bright with happiness. 

“Sure! What should we play?” He turns the tv off and looks at me expectantly. 

“Um, how about, we ask each other a question and we have to answer it truthfully?” Daemon looks at me with furrowed brows, but then nods happily.

“Okay, so I’ll go first. What’s the best gift you’ve ever got?” I ask. 

He thinks about it for a minute and then smiles. “Ooh, I know! On my fourth birthday, momma gave me a photo album with her childhood photos. She sat with me and told me stories about you and uncle Cass and Uncle Rhys and also about momma’s family.” I look at Daemon carefully. I had initially expected him to name some toy or something like that. But then again, he is Elain’s son. And mine. 

“Wow. You’re turn buddy. Ask me anything.” I tell him with a smile. 

“Where were you all these years?” He asks with an innocent face. His question blows me away and I blink twice. 

I fidget with my sling and look at the capsule bottles. I open all of them, taking one pill out from each and gulp them down with water. When I look back at him, he’s still looking at me with innocent eyes. 

“Um, I was busy.” No, that’s not a good enough answer. I clear my throat. “There were some things that kept me away from you. But trust me, if I had the chance, I wouldn’t have left your side for a moment.” I tell him sincerely. He nods at me and then says, “Your turn.”

“What was it like? Living with your mom and everything.”

“It was nice. Momma would always come home from work and play with me. We’d go out every weekend. She even took me to Disneyland along with Uncle Lucien!” 

“How about Graysen?”I remember how the guy Cassian and I had questioned said that Graysen wasn’t good with kids. 

Daemon’s bright face fell into a frown. “Graysen was not that good. He usually never came to our house. But whenever he did, he would be really mean and would always shout at momma.” I clench my fists at the thought of someone like him shouting at Elain. “And whenever momma wasn’t there he would always say mean stuff to me.” 

“What kind of mean stuff?” I ask with a hoarse voice. 

He shakes his head and glances down. I look at him carefully and then I speak up. “My dad wasn’t a nice person.” Daemon looks up at me. “He would hurt me and my mother. When I was 9 years old, he hurt my mother really badly and he... he hurt me too.” I involuntarily gaze down at my hands.

“Did he do that?” Daemon asks softly. I nod, my gaze not shifting from my scarred hands. I hear a rustling noise and footsteps and then suddenly Daemon is beside me.

He points to a small scar in his forehead. “I got hurt when Graysen pushed me into his desk. It was bleeding, but he got it fixed. He told me not to tell momma. He said that if she asked, I should tell her that I fell on my own.” I look at him furrowed eyebrows. I know Graysen is a bad man, but I didn’t know he would hurt a child and then force him to lie about it. How could he hurt Elain’s son? How dare he hurt my son? I’ll make him pay for it. No matter what.

“Promise you won’t tell her?” He holds up his pinky. I interlace it with mine. 

“I promise.” 

He smiles and sits back when the front door opens and Lucien walks in with a man and Elain behind him. 

“Oh look Elain, he’s awake! You didn’t kill him!” Lucien exclaims and Elain punches him on the shoulder, her face turning red.

“Shut up Lucien.” She mutters. 

The man behind him clears his throat and I instantly recognise him as Lucien’s father, Helion. “Azriel, nice to meet you. Unfortunately, it’s in these circumstances.” What circumstances? Oh right, poisoned bullet, nearly dying and everything. 

“Gramps!” Daemon gets up from his seat beside me and runs towards Helion. Helion spreads his arms and lifts Daemon as he nears him. “Dae! It’s been so long!”

“My wish came true! See!” Daemon says and Helion gives him a sweet smile. 

“Yes, I do see. I told you that you’ll get your gift if you’re a good boy.” 

What wish? 

“Um, Helion, uh, why don’t you do what you, um, are here for?” Elain says uneasily.

I narrow my eyes at Lucien who smirks. “Elain, here thought that she almost killed you or sent you into a coma when you didn’t wake up. So, to assure her that you are not dead, we brought in a specialist.”

This time, I look at Helion with narrowed eyes. He just grins brightly. I roll my eyes and groan. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”

**~~~~**

After completing the checkup, Helion leaves, Elain leading him outside. Lucien’s sitting on the armchair beside mine and keeps on throwing me weird looks. 

I sigh. “Out with it.” He blinks at me innocently. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You very obviously have something to say, so please tell me before I am tempted to force it out of you. Wounded or not, I can still kick your ass.” I warn him.

He gives me a smug smile. “You’d need a drink for tonight.”

“Because?” 

He gets up as he hears the front door closing. “Because you and Elain are going to have a nice chat.” He walks upstairs as Elain comes up behind me. 

“Um, Az, how are you feeling?” She asks. 

“I’m okay. Thanks for saving me yesterday.” I smile at her and she blushes. 

She starts wringing her hands. “Oh, I didn’t save you. I just-” I grasp her hands. 

“You saved me El. Seriously. Thank you.” I tell her solemnly. 

“I didn’t want Daemon to lose his daddy.” She mutters as she averts her eyes.

_Of course_. She did it for Daemon. She probably hates me. 

“Nesta wants you and Daemon to come to her daughter’s birthday party” I suddenly say. 

“Her daughter?”

“Tootsie?” _Jesus_ , she doesn't even know about Nesta’s daughter?

“I know her name. It’s just, I didn’t expect Nesta to invite me over for anything.” She says softly. 

Damn, now I feel guilty for judging her. 

“Yeah, well she called me and said that she would really appreciate it if both of you were there. Will you go?” I ask tentatively. 

She widens her eyes. “Of course I will. I’d love to go!” Then she looks down. “But, I would need to buy her a gift and everything and I don’t know if I have clothes to wear to a party-” 

“Elain. It’s okay. I’ve gotten her a gift card, it’s all Nesta wants anyway.” She opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. “And regarding the clothes, I thought Feyre and Nesta brought a few over?” 

“Yeah, they did.” She says meekly. 

“Good. Wear those.”

She nods but doesn’t look at me. And that’s all I can take. No more beating around the bush. 

“Elain, we need to talk.”

**~~~~**

She just nodded and left, saying that she had to change. So even I had gone up to my room and somehow had managed to get into my sweatpants and a black t-shirt. By the time I reach downstairs, she’s already sitting on the couch wearing a loose t shirt and dark blue shorts.

I clear my throat and sit on the couch opposite to her. She has an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand while I have nothing, except for a small bottle of water.

“You know how it was my dream to go to Adriata and then live our lives there?” I ask her and she scoffs. 

“Of course I remember. It was my dream too.” I inhale deeply and close my eyes. 

“I didn’t get in.” 

She falters as she looks at me with wide eyes. “What do you mean you didn’t get in? Your GPA was better than mine and then you even had football.”

“I don’t know, but I wasn’t accepted. And there you were, so excited that you had gotten accepted. I knew that if I told you that I hadn’t been accepted, you would have agreed to stay with me and go to Velaris University.” 

“Of course I would’ve. It wasn’t that important.” She says stubbornly. 

“But it was. I didn't want to be the guy who would hold you back. I couldn’t be that guy whom you would resent.”

“I wouldn’t have resented you then. But what you did, it made me resent you much more than normal.” She says softly. I inwardly groan. Of course she still hated me, that’s what I had wanted at that time. 

“I didn’t know how to tell you and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to break it off with you, so I-”

“You _cheated_?” She asks mockingly. “ _Hurt me_? Made me feel bad about myself?” 

I shake my head. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But you did Az! How else would I feel when I find my _future husband_ sleeping with someone else?!” Her breathing fastens. 

“I never slept with her.” 

There’s silence for a moment and then she starts laughing hysterically.

“You _really_ expect me to believe that?” She says in the middle of her laughs.

“Yes, I do.” I say carefully, because god only knows what’s going on in her mind. 

She takes a gulp from the bottle in her hand and wipes her mouth before she starts laughing again. And it’s not cute at all. Here I am, telling her the biggest regret of my life and she’s laughing. Like a maniac. 

“Elain, I’m serious. Stop making a fucking joke out of this.” 

She instantly stops and glares at me, hatred filling her eyes. “You just told me that you didn’t sleep with the girl whom I found in bed with you. That it was all just a ploy to make me stay away from you so that you won’t crush my dreams.” A single tear runs down her face. “Azriel, you’re the one who made it a fucking joke seven years ago.” 

My eyes soften and all I want is to sit beside her and hold her once again. “Elain, I was only a kid. I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. I did what I thought was best. And there is nothing else that I regret more than that.”

“What about the girl?” She asks softly, her gaze averted. 

“She worked for Sir and agreed to help me fake it.” She bites her lip and looks at me with sad eyes. “I didn’t even touch her.” I add. 

She shakes her head as if she’s trying to process everything. I expect her to yell at me, maybe even cry. But I never expected what she would say next.

“I was so pissed off that day. The night before your birthday. Probably, the first birthday I had spent without you in years. I had every intention of getting drunk and spending the entire day in my room. But fate had something else planned.” She smiled sadly as she wiped a few tears. “Around 1 in the night, I felt this - this _immense_ pain from my stomach. Lucien thought it must have been alcohol poisoning. But I knew it was more. It was something much more.” She let out a hollow laugh. “I thought I was dying. Something I was willing to accept. After leaving Velaris, I had already considered myself dead.” I look down at the floor, unable to meet her eyes. 

“Lucien took me to the ER and guess what they told me? I’m going into _fucking labor_.” She shakes her head and takes another drink from her bottle. “They took me inside, all alone in the pain, and three hours later I was holding my son in my hand.” She sniffs and wipes her tears again, her eyes red rimmed. “He was so small and weak. The only thing I could think of was how I failed as a mother even before my child was born. How I was a failure as a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, and even as a mother.” Her voice cracks and all I want to do is go to her and hold her. Tell her that she didn’t fail as a mother. That she isn’t a failure. That I still love her. But I can’t. The last thing she needs is for me, the man who ruined her life, to be near her. “Then, he opened his eyes.” She smiles sadly. “He had your eyes.” She whispers as she hangs her head down, tears falling freely. “I was so scared Az. I was so scared and I needed you.”

“And I wasn’t there.” I answer, my voice hoarse. 

She nods. “You weren’t. And I should hate you for it. But I can’t.” Her voice breaks and she starts sobbing. This time, I do get up from my seat and sit beside her, holding her with one arm, allowing her to rest her head on my chest. She grips the front of my shirt as she continues sobbing. I run my hand through her hair soothingly and soon the sobs stop and her breathing becomes even. Ignoring the pain in my shoulder, I pick her up and take her to her room.

After dropping her off, I lie down on my own bed after taking a shit load of painkillers and fall asleep, imagining a life where I had stayed with Elain the entire time. 

**\------------------------------------------------**

##  **Elain**

Things were different. I had not talked to Az the morning after, but somehow, his words made sense to me. I don’t even know how, but they did. 

He was right when he said that I would’ve dropped the idea of Adriata University in a heartbeat if he had told me the truth. But how did it help anyone? He’s miserable, I’m miserable. None of us got to be happy.

But, maybe we could change it now? I shake the thought out of my mind. 

At the moment, I’m standing in front of Nesta and Cassian’s house for their daughter’s birthday. It’s the kind of house that a normal person would call cute. I’m pretty sure Rhys and Az call it a dollhouse. 

Az gets out of the car and helps Daemon. “So, what do you think?” He asks as he comes around and stands next to me. 

I look at him properly, for the first time since he came out of his room looking like a greek god in his outfit. Albeit it was a normal black jeans with a black button down which fit him perfectly along with black converse, but he still looked mesmerizing. 

And apparently I am staring. 

I clear my throat. “It’s nice. Not something I would expect Cass to live in.” 

Az scoffs. “It’s a fucking barbie dreamhouse replica.” 

I purse my lips. “Actually, I think yours is the dreamhouse. This one is just a normal doll house.” Az sends a glare in my direction and I giggle. 

I haven’t forgiven him, but at least we weren’t avoiding each other. We are, in a weird and twisted way, becoming friends. 

We walk to the front door which Az opens without knocking. Inside, the house is mesmerizing. There are balloons everywhere, soft yellow light brightening the room. A huge portrait of Cassian, Nesta and a little baby in their hands. All along the walls there were shelves decorated with books, photo frames and decorative knives. At least I think they’re for decoration purposes. 

“Elain, you came!” Nesta exclaims from her the corner of the room. She has a little girl with dark hair, much like Cassian’s, however, her eyes were stormy blue-grey just like Nesta’s. “This is Tootsie. Don’t ask, Cassian named her.” Nesta says with an eye roll. “And Tootsie, this is Auntie Elain and your cousin Daemon.” Tootsie looks at me wide eyes and then down at Daemon, who himself looks at her with wide eyes. 

“Hi! Happy birthday!” Daemon exclaims as he holds his hand out towards her. Tootsie looks at him and also extends her hand in such a way that she almost falls out of Nesta’s hold. Nesta places Tootsie on the floor who takes hold of Daemon’s hand and drags him further into the house. I cast Nesta an uneasy look. “Hey. Nice house.” She narrows her eyes at me and smiles. “Glad you made it. I thought Azhole wouldn’t have been able to convince you.”

“You still call him Azhole?” I ask, surprised that she still calls Az by the name she had come up with in high school when Az and I had first started dating. 

“I’ll stop calling him that when he stops acting like one.” She replies and I giggle.

Cassian calls Nesta and she excuses herself and I busy myself by looking at the various photos. There’s one of us from high school. I’m in my cheer outfit, all three of the boys are in their football uniform, while Nesta and Feryre are wearing jeans and sweaters. I also have a letterman jacket around me, which is obviously Az’s. I smile to myself. 

“That was just before I told you that I love you.” A voice says from behind me. I whirl around and find Az standing with his hands tucked in his pockets, giving a thoughtful look to the photo. “It comes in my list of top ten days.” 

I raise my eyebrows. “Top ten?” 

He nods and moves towards me, picking up the frame in his hand. “Definitely in the top ten.”

“What other days are a part of that list?” I ask as he places the frame back in its places and looks at me. 

He looks at me for a moment and then shrugs. “You were there for all of them.” 

I’m pretty sure I have stopped breathing. I look into his deep hazel eyes and know that there’s no wall, no shield. He’s completely opened himself to me. 

And that scares me. 

**~~~~**

I manage to spend most of the evening without bumping into Az. Feyre and Nesta keep me occupied the entire evening, all of us talking about our lives in the past seven years. 

I learn that Feyre and Rhysand had an impromptu marriage because they were not sure if they would survive the next day or not. And honestly, that sounds extremely brutal. 

“It was really sweet actually.” Feyre says. “Well as sweet as a wedding can get when arranged within half an hour.” She adds. 

“The only thing that even mattered was that you were there with me.” Rhys says as he comes up behind Feyre and hugs her with one arm.

Cassian flops down beside Nesta. “I actually enjoyed it. I was the one who officiated it.” Then he smiles roguely. “Batman here was the flower boy.” 

I turn and look at Az, who’s standing behind, glaring at Cassian and flips him off. 

“Why was he the _flower boy_?” I ask, extremely amused. 

Rhys grins widely. “Our dear Az had a small infatuation with flowers at the time. Oh, there wasn’t anyone else, so.”

Azriel blushes slightly and turns his glare towards Rhys. “I was the best flower boy you could’ve ever had.” He scoffs. 

Feyre snorts and Nesta sighs impatiently. “Can we stop talking about this and focus on the birthday girl. Because I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard from her in the last ten minutes and that is extremely frightening.”

All three men widen their eyes and straighten. “You did hide your gun, didn’t you?” Rhys asks Cassian.

“Yeah. I mean, I think I did.” He replies with uncertainty. 

“Ugh, Cassian!” Nesta groans and gets up from her seat and Cassian follows. I shoot Feyre a confused look and she just rolls her eyes. 

“Last time Tootsie was left alone, she somehow managed to get hold of a gun. Scared the hell out of everyone.” 

“Um, isn’t she just 3?” I ask.

“She’s Cassian’s child. What else do you expect?” Rhys answers but still looks slightly stricken. 

“The worst part was when she pointed it at us as if she was going to shoot us.” Az says from behind me.

Rhys groans. “Yeah, she kept on saying ‘ _die, die, die_ ’” Rhys shudders. “I still have nightmares.”

Feyre laughs as she elbows Rhys. “You’re exaggerating. She was probably saying ‘ _dadada_ ’.”

“I know what I hear Feyre Darling.” 

I look at all of them warily. Why are they acting as if this is a very normal behavior for a child?

“You don’t think that it’s wrong for a child to, um, I don’t know, play around with a gun?” I ask incredulously.

They don’t answer, they just look at each other, uncertain how to answer. 

“Elain-” Feyre starts.

“No. I don’t know what you think is normal, but there is no way I’m going to let my son live in a world like that! Just let me go back home! I want to go home!” I exclaim and walk away from them into the living room where Daemon lies asleep on the sofa.

I go and sit beside him, running my hand through his hair. I smile to myself, thanking the gods above, that even after everything I went through, at least I have Daemon.

“Elain.” One word. Just one word in his voice and all I want is to hold him again. 

“It’s not normal for us.” His voice is much closer and I turn around to find him standing right in front of me. “Hell, none of us know what a normal kid does. But we try our best.” Az runs his hand through his hair. “El, I don’t know what a child wants, but I can assure you that Daemon will never come near anything like that.”

I don’t know what makes me believe him. The way his eyes shine with sincerity, or maybe the way his voice is determined. Or maybe the way he’s gripping my hand tightly, making me hope that he never lets go. 

But I do. I do believe that he would not let my son - _our son_ \- get in harm’s way. And for now, that is enough to make me want to stay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? I would love to hear your thoughts!


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas  
> Warnings: Mature language, violence, alcohol consumption, smoking, drugs  
> Mostly angsty, kinda steamy. :)  
> Hope you all enjoy!

##  **Azriel**

Something’s wrong. 

We had gotten a single sentence from Graysen saying that he didn’t want Elain and Daemon back. Well, that was a good thing, because no way in hell would I let them return to that motherfucker. 

No, what was wrong, was that there had been attacks on Graysen’s businesses, but somehow, they never affected his dirty work and he always came out as the victim, throwing our name in the dirt. 

Three attacks, and not a single one was orchestrated by us. 

And I know that Graysen knows that, but still, he seems to love blaming us for it. As if we’re the ones illegally dealing drugs and forcing women into prostitution. 

Shit, what if he would’ve managed to trap Elain into one of those rings? I shudder at the thought. Good thing is that she’s not with him. She’s with me. And we’ve managed to be civil with each other. Kind of like friends. Obviously it’s difficult to go from loving each other, to longing/hating each other, to being friends. But it’s nice. For once in my life, I actually had something to look up for. 

Daemon is extremely ecstatic, thinking that his family is perfect. In a way, I guess, you could say it is. I don’t think Elain hates me anymore. I know what I did seven years ago was stupid, but I was an 18 year old boy who had thought that his life had ended. So sue me for taking drastic measures. 

Back to Graysen, I am pretty sure that he’s planning something. So when today, finally, Elain removes my stupid sling, I’ll go to one of his areas and figure out what’s exactly going on. 

But I have put all that on hold as I am doing the most important task of my life. Defeating my son in JustDance. 

I had thought that I could easily defeat him, but nope. My son is a pro at dancing. Also considering the fact that he has an advantage because I only have one hand. 

But honestly, even with one hand, I am _fucking killing it_. I had never in my life thought that I would dance to Shakira’s ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ but, well, my life has been taking really sharp turns lately. 

Talking about turns, I turn around, giving my performance a grand ending, only to find Elain standing at the threshold with a bottle of water in her hand, her eyes wide in horror. Beside her is Lucien who’s clutching his stomach tightly as he laughs. 

I instantly stiffen, ignoring the artificial applause coming from the speakers. 

“Daddy! Tha’s not fair! I lost!” Daemon says with a pout. 

Lucien starts shaking with laughter. “Az, I had no idea you were hiding a Shakira within you.” Lucien would often come over on the weekends to spend time with Elain. 

I growl at him. “Tell this to anyone and you will be saying bye to your balls.” 

“Too late.” Elain speaks up from beside him, her initial shock gone and now a wide grin threatening to break out. “I already took a video and sent it Cassian.” She gives me a sheepish look. 

I groan. Ugh, perfect. Now he will have enough ammunition against me to last for a millenia. 

“Daddy, I want a redo.” Daemon says stubbornly. 

Oh god, kid, _please_ stop talking. 

“Yeah Az, we need a redo.” Lucien says as he flops down on one the chairs in the corner. “Or wait, I have a better idea! Hey little man, what do you say? Should daddy put on a show for us?” 

Elain giggles from behind him but instantly stops when I glare at her. _Traitor._

“Yeah! Daddy please perform for us!” Daemon shouts from beside me, clapping his hands. 

God help me. 

Thankfully, my phone starts ringing. I quickly walk towards my phone, picking it up. “Thank god you called.” I release a relieved breath. “You have no idea what I was going to have to do.” 

“Yeah, well don’t be too glad. We have a problem and somehow it’s found it’s way up our ass.” Rhys’ voice comes through the phone.

“What do you mean?”

There’s a pause, before he speaks up again. “It’s Graysen.”

**~~~~**

“Iwanttocomealongwithyou.” Is the first thing Elain says to me when she’s done removing my bandages. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

She inhales deeply and sits up straight. “You’re obviously going for some super secret spy mission or whatever and I want to go with you.” 

I don’t tell her anything. I just narrow my eyes at her in disbelief. Is she the same person who freaked out more than a week ago claiming that she didn’t want her son to live in such conditions?

She sighs and closes her eyes. “Look, I was about to get married to that man. I need to know what kind of man he truly is.” She rubs her thumb over the ring that settles on her left hand. “I’ll convince Lucien to stay the night, to stay with Daemon and I’ll come along with you.”

“How do you know I’m not just going to kill someone?” I ask bluntly. 

She flinches but opens her eyes, the dark brown color in them burning brightly. “I overheard your conversation. I know Rhys told you to just observe, no violence.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “And what if they attack? I can’t focus with you in danger.” She widens her eyes in surprise and I cross my arms. 

How can she be surprised? How can she not see how much I still love her?

“I’ll run away. I’ll take your car and drive away from there.” 

I look at her closely. Rhys did say that there wasn’t even any need to bring my gun, but I obviously am going to, not wanting to take any risks. And we will be in public. 

Rhys had called to inform me that I have to once again go and spy on Graysen’s works, but this time at one of his famous clubs which was known for the drug dealings that happen there. I was just supposed to check if they were actually affected by the attacks or not. 

If they weren’t, then it would be obvious that Graysen orchestrated the attacks to throw us off. And if they were, then we’d have an unknown potential ally/enemy in front of us. 

Then there was another thing that Rhys mentioned, which made me suoer happy as well as super pissed.

Elain looks up at me with hopeful eyes and I end up relenting. 

“Get ready by 9. We’re going to a club, so dress accordingly.” I tell her as I get up and walk up to my room.

**~~~~**

_Dress accordingly._

I had told her to dress accordingly for a club.

Not enough to kill me. Or make me want to kill anyone looking at her.

She’s wearing a black net blouse with a black bra inside, leaving very less to imagination. Underneath it she’s wearing a grey miniskirt which just reaches her thigh. And then _boots_. Spike heeled, up to her thigh, black colored boots. “Is this okay?” She asks meekly. She twirls and my breath catches when I see her back. There’s just a single string, leaving the rest of her back bare, the only thing preventing me from touching her is the black netted cloth covering her. 

_Is it okay?_ Oh God, fucking kill me already. 

I nod stiffly and walk outside where my car is kept. I slide in and Elain sits on the passenger side. She looks around the SUV and smiles slightly. “So, you finally got an Aston Martin, huh?”

“Uh, yeah.” I say hesitantly. She still remembers my childhood dream to own one?

“I thought you would’ve gone for a sports car or something. Not an SUV.” She points out. 

“Well, that was the plan, but I don’t know, this car just kind of caught my attention.” I shrug and she just nods, turning her head away, indicating the end of the conversation. I try using my right hand for most of the driving, considering my left arm was still not perfect. 

“Isn’t this kind of car for families?” Elain suddenly asks. 

I glance at her and answer, “Um, yeah, I guess. Why?”

She looks down at her lap where she’s wringing her hands. “Do you plan to have a family? In the future?” Her voice is filled with uncertainty.

“Never thought of one without you.” I answer truthfully. She closes her eyes and exhales, her shoulders dropping. Is she disappointed? 

“What are we supposed to do?” She turns to look at me, her eyes standing out with black eyeliner and kohl. 

“ _You_ will be doing nothing. I, on the other hand, have to observe and keep an eye out for any illegal activities.”

“Isn’t that something the cops should be doing?”

I shrug. “We help them out, they return the favor by calling us criminals.” I glance at her to see her face scrunched up in confusion. It looks so damn cute, even in the sexy dress. Speaking of the sexy dress, her skirt has inched up revealing her soft looking skin and all I want is to feel them around me. Hopefully while I’m eating her out. 

Shit where did that come from. And now that it’s in my mind, I can’t imagine how my hands would feel on her, inside her-

 _Stop._ You’re driving. _Nooo._

I instantly look ahead, paying attention to the road and the road only, ignoring the slight pressure I feel in my jeans. 

I’m starting to think bringing Elain along might’ve been a bad idea. 

“So which club are we going to?” Elain asks. 

I continue looking ahead as I answer, “City Nights. You’ve ever been there?” 

“Uh, no. Graysen went there every Friday, just before he would come over to my house, but he never allowed me.” Then she gasps. “Will we be running into Graysen?” 

“Why do you care? Want to run into his arms the first chance you get?” I grumble out and I instantly regret it. I look at her face and she’s staring at me with wide eyes, hurt visible in them. “El, I didn’t-”

“You’re right. I will run into his arms. Because I’m desperate, right? I’ll go back to the man who doesn’t even care if I’m alive.” I furrow my eyebrows at her and she scoffs. “Yeah, I heard that as well. How Graysen said that he would be okay with me and Daemon dying with you guys. He practically gave you a thumbs up to hurt both of us.” She shakes her head. “Of course I’ll run back to him.” Then she crosses her arms over her chest and completely turns towards the body. 

And I can’t help but feel like a major dick.

**~~~~**

As soon as we enter the dimly lit club, Elain beelines towards the bar and downs three shots without a pause. I sigh and send Rhy and Cassian a message, letting them know that I reached the club. 

_At the club. Will update if I see something._

Cassian instantly shot back, _Why don’t you use those Shakira moves there, huh?_

I groaned and then Rhys sent a message a minute later. _Perfect, and Az, we all know that your hips don’t lie._

 _Shut the fuck up_. I send it to both of them. 

I look up towards the bar where Elain had been, but only now, she wasn’t there. I frantically look around the entire room, but couldn’t find her anywhere. 

Did I lose her, or did she run away or did someone take her? _God help me._

I move through the dancing crowd, ignoring the way they were all practically groping each other. She’s not on the dance floor or near the bar. I reach the bathroom when suddenly the door opens and Elain walks out with another girl’s hand over her shoulder. 

The girl beside Elain is smiling widely, too widely, and she’s wearing a golden dress that came up to her mid thigh. She glances towards me and her gaze turns predatory. “Why hello there handsome.” She drawls. “I’m just finished here, wanna go next?” She winks at me and I widen my eyes at Elain who’s grinning at the girl. 

Did they-? Is she-? In the few minutes that she was gone, they-? _The fuck?_

Elain giggles and swats the girl on her shoulder. “Don’t listen to her Az.” She looks at me with hooded eyes. “She’s a friend of mine and works for Graysen. Just found her here.”

I glance at Elain who seems to be all smiles and sunshine at the moment. Maybe the shots did their magic. 

Suddenly Elain perks up and looks at me with wide eyes. “Ooh, I love this song!” She shrugs out of her friend’s grasp and clutches my hand. “Let’s go dance!” Before I can even comprehend what’s going on, she’s already pulled me onto the dance floor and has her arms around my neck. 

I don’t recognise the song playing so I hesitantly start swaying along with Elain, placing my hands on her hips. She rolls her eyes and brings my hand right behind her, placing it on her ass. My breath hitches and I glance at Elain, who’s smiling at me. 

She moves forward and presses herself into me, my jeans getting tighter and tighter by the second. 

Fuuuuuck. 

She probably notices how much it affects me, because she smiles mischievously and then, she tugs my mouth down onto hers. 

I hesitate at first, completely shocked at what the fuck was happening, but then I ease into it, both our bodies moving with the beat of the music, our lips molding into each other’s. She tightly grabs my hair and I tighten my hold on her. She bites my lower lip, causing me to open my mouth, allowing her entrance. 

But something feels...wrong. 

There is no way the Elain would behave like this only about 15 minutes after she was extremely pissed at me. She tastes like tequila and something else. Something that instantly reminds me of my father. 

I move back, grabbing her chin and force her to look up at me. She smiles giddily and her eyes are bright, but red. Her cheeks are flushed, much more than a normal makeout session would cause. 

“You’re _high_?” I ask her. But her smile is answer enough. I run a hand through my hair. “You’re _fucking high_.” 

Who would’ve given her the drugs? She hadn't talked to anyone but me and… Graysen’s colleague. 

I look around to spot the woman and I see her near the exit, leaving. I move ahead, but Elain pulls me back. 

“Az, I want to dance!” She pouts at me. 

I ignore her and pull her along with me. I march outside the club, the cold air hit me, and I remember that behind me Elain would probably be freezing. Ignoring all the annoyance I feel towards her, I shrug off my shirt and place it over her shoulders, leaving me in a black t-shirt. 

The girl is nowhere to be seen and any possible footprints were covered up by the heavy snow. 

I turn around to drag Elain back into the car but she isn’t there. Instead, she’s walking - _skipping_ \- towards the bridge, singing ‘Toxic’ loud enough for the dead to hear. 

I rush towards her when she suddenly climbs up on the ledge of the bride, causing my heart to drop. 

The fuck does she think she’s doing? 

“Elain, get off of the ledge.” I say calmly but she doesn’t listening, continuing to walk around as if she’s a fucking professional. “El, it’s snowing. It’s probably very slippery. Get down or else you’ll fall and hurt yourself.”

Instead of getting down, she starts laughing. “You really think falling off this bridge is going to hurt me more than you did?” She laughs again. “You’re very, very, very badly mistaken Mr. Knight.” She shakes her head like a child and spreads her hands. “I could fucking die and it won’t hurt as much as living without you hurt me.” She starts moving her hands up and down and walks on the ledge.

Only this time, she doesn’t place her foot on the ledge. “Woah!” She loses balance and stumbles, falling behind in the river with a splash with a slight shriek.

“Elain!” I don’t think for a moment before I run and jump into the water, right behind her. I break through the cold surface of the water, chills travelling through my spine. I look around searching for her when finally her head comes above and she sputters. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” She shouts. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong _with you_? You just jumped off a fucking brigde!” I scream in return. She starts flapping her hands in the water and I swim towards her. As soon as I reach near her, she latches onto me, I hold her up and she wraps her arms around my neck, oblivious to the pain it causes my still healing shoulder.

“I didn’t jump off, I slipped.” She says while shivering. 

I scoff at her. “It’s your fault for walking on the ledge.” I look at her face. “You normal now? Or do you want to try some more drugs?” 

“Fuck you.” _Trust me, I want you to._ “It’s your fault I was in that state in the first place.” I ignore her jab. “Actually, all of this mess is because of you. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been back at my home with Daemon, living my normal life.”

“With Graysen? The man who treated you like trash? Who verbally abused my son?” She looks at me with wide eyes and then I finally register what I said. She doesn’t know what Graysen said to Daemon. “Well guess what? That life you were living was a complete lie.”

She stiffens and I carry her out of the water, not letting go of her until she’s seated in the car. I turn on the heater and pass her my jacket from the backseat of the car. She quietly takes it and looks out of the window. I don’t say anything, knowing that she will talk once she wants to. Instead, I turn the radio on and 5 SOS’s ‘Lie To Me’ plays. Both of us listen to it silently, watching the lights pass by as we drive back home, the lyrics fading one after the other, but still stuck with me.

_I know that you don’t but if I ask you if you love me,_

_I hope you lie to me._

**\------------------------------------------------**

##  **Elain**

We spent the entire car ride back home in silence. I don’t utter a word and neither does he. 

I was still coming down from the high of the drugs Judy had given me. It was a bad move, but I wasn’t really thinking at the moment. All I could think of was how Az thought that I would rush into Graysen’s arms.

And him abusing Daemon? What was Az even talking about? How did I not know about this?

I don’t even wait for him to stop his car as I walk out and enter his house, slamming the door behind me. It’s eerily quiet, so I’m guessing that Daemon and Lucien are asleep. 

I storm up into my room, still wet and dripping, ignoring the cold chills passing through my body. I close the door and start taking my clothes. I’m standing in just a loose shirt - his shirt - when suddenly my door bursts open and Az charges inside. 

“Get out.” I demand as I point towards the door. 

“No.” He folds his hands across his perfectly sculpted chest. 

“Stop hiding it.” He says calmly, his eyes raking over my body just once before he looks into my eyes. 

I glare at him. “I’m not hiding anything.”

“Elain, please. Please do not lie to me. I can’t take it anymore!” He bangs his fist into the wall beside him causing me to flinch, but he doesn’t notice. 

“Az, what do you want me to say? That even after all these years, I’m still in love with you? Well you’re wrong. There’s only one person whom I love and it’s my son. There’s no space in my heart for anyone else. And definitely not the person who broke me.” Liar, liar, liar. 

“Yeah, well I call bullshit.”

“You can’t do that.” I give him a stubborn look.

“You just needed someone who made you forget about me! Someone who made you forget what it felt to be mine! Even though he didn’t love you, or you loved him back, at least he got your mind off of me.” He starts stalking towards me, making me move backwards. “And in all of that, you didn’t even care that he was abusing our child, telling him that he wasn’t good enough.” He’s right in front of me and my back is against the wall. “You might have gone through a lot in life El, but you screwed up when it mattered the most.”

My hand moves on it’s own and strikes him, causing a stinging in my palm. His eyes are blazing as he looks at me. I raise my other hand to strike him again but he grasps it, strongly, and looks at me. Something flashes in his eyes that I can’t comprehend. 

“Fuck it.” He mutters as he moves towards me, crashing his lips to mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things might happen in the next chapter :)


End file.
